Grab your coffee and try to follow my wandering mind.....
We all have issues with our life. Issues with our past, our childhood, our past or current marriages. We have strong emotions, some include hatred, for those that hurt us or those we feel didn't love us. As an adult, we place blame on friends, boyfriends and spouses for their roles in our life. Things begin to fester. They manifest into demons that really aren't deserving of a place in your mind, heart and body.
Your parents likely suffered some event(s) that made them not as good to you as they could have been. Maybe they lived with an alcoholic. Maybe they were abused. And that includes physically, emotionally and sexually. Maybe you weren't as easy to deal with as you recall. Maybe you weren't giving the same respect to your friends, boyfriend or spouse that you demanded. Sometimes---well, almost always, because it is human nature---people perpetuate the same cycle because that's all they know. You saw your father emotionally abandon your mom and maybe you subconsciously treat those you love that way. In actuality, it is the easy way because relationships are work. And when you are in pain, even the slightest amount of work seems like a hurdle that is insurmountable.
You have a choice. You can be the same parent, friend and spouse that you had and complain about. Or you can let go, become self aware and really look at your path and determine where you want to end up. Acknowledge who you are. Embrace that person. You shouldn't live in fear that people may figure out you are a fraud. There are certain topics that are difficult for some people to talk about. But, the truth is, it's more common than people let on. If people would speak up and own it, it wouldn't be such a big deal. Instead, we let it embarass us. How long are we going to let other people dictate where we should be in life, what we say & think, what car we drive and how we decorate our house? How long are we going to allow ourselves to make the same mistakes with out loved ones as the very ones we complain about?
You don't have to share your inner most thoughts, feelings and struggles. Although I believe there is something freeing about being able to do that. But it does mean living genuine. Be who you really are. Not who you think people will like you for. After all, you want people to be genuine with you?
And if you really think about it, people are magnets. We attract what we give. If people are genuinely happy, how much time will they spend with a negative person? Even if they are trying to help them, how much of themself will they invest before throwing in the towel? So, if you feel like everyone around you is causing you trouble, maybe it's not their fault. Maybe it's yours for accepting it into your life and allowing it to continue.
To clarify, "getting it" doesn't mean suppressing it. Nor does it mean not caring. It means knowing enough about yourself and life to understand that a happy life stems from the same pain as a negative one. It's up to you as to how you choose to deal with disappointment, choices and consequences. Every corny and cliche quote exists for a reason---they are true.
So forgive. Forget. Break the cycles. Let go of hate. Forgiveness is not intended to give the person who hurt you peace. It's so that person can stop robbing you of yours.
Laugh more. Try to enjoy more. It's practically impossible to enjoy anything when you walk around saying that you hate it all of the time. Think happier thoughts. Focus on the positive. Yell less. Grab onto life. Show up. Stop standing in the corner and come to the table. And bring your whole self. Start loving. Start living. The only other option is to start dying. And that just isn't an option for me. And it shouldn't be for you either.
Maybe the hokey pokey is what life is all about. But, maybe the human race needs to realize not to wait until the end to put your whole self in. Start now. Go ahead---shake it all about.
That's just how I see it. But maybe it's my misperception.
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