Things, as of right now, are better than they've been in almost a year. A lot of things have been resolved and are well on their way to being what they used to be, if not better. But it's been months of crisis: financial, marital, parental, mental, health. Recently, I've had a heavy heart. On Monday night, at the urge of my mother and support of my husband, I got a mini getaway to almost a type luxury resort. You know---the room is outrageously priced and anything for you to use in the room is going to cost you. It wasn't St. Lucia, but it would have to do. And thankfully, I only had to pay 20% of the bill.
I was on the 4th floor and let me tell you: this was the place to be if you wanted to be doted on. With the push of a button, I could have someone at my service. They almost were annoying with their checking in on me to make sure I was comfortable. While I was enjoying some downtime, a woman next to me was trying to do the same. She was so joyous and jovial, but her health seemed to give her no reason to be. We started to talk and she adamantly informed me her Blood Pressure was no longer a problem---as long as she took her meds. (Which I think made my brain want to initiate a debate as to whether the general population understand that if you neeeeeed meds, you still have a problem. But this wasn't the place.) She tells me she has 5 grandkids and 3 children. I noticed she mentioned the kids last and asked her jokingly if there was a reason. She said, in her best fitting Big Momma voice "Child, those kids are why I'm here. I love them dearly and they turned out well. But those grandkids are the loves of my life. Make sure you are able to enjoy the lives of your children's children. They love you differently---and it's blissful and delightful." Wow. What do you say to that?! She excitedly proceeded to tell me she has lost 80 pounds over the past year and what foods to eat to do it. (I already knew, but I listened intently because Big Momma was just enjoying being heard. I'm thinking that Big Daddy did most of the talking at home.) Big Momma (aka known as Mrs. Renita Williams) seemed to know everyone by name and informed them how she would be treated. I knew pretty quick she was a frequent visitor.
On the same floor, a few rooms over, there seemed to be a panic---the kind of panic when a code RED alarm goes off in a hospital. I heard family yelling and found out that someones heart had stopped. I never found out if they revived it.
There was a treadmill not too far away and when I woke up, I went over and used it. Even took a few pictures. I felt tired but accomplished. I mean, really, I never workout when I stay anywhere so this was a first. I went back to my room and turned on the tv. Barbara Walters ws talking about having her heart checked. Studio 10 was showing how to eat healthier. And Dr. Oz was talking about heart health and cholesterol. Prior to that day, almost everyday, I always wondered exactly what damage my weight and my less than perfect food choices had done.
That moment, I didn't have to wonder anymore. I was discharged from St. Lucia....I mean St. Josephs 4th floor cardiac unit with a clean bill of health. And of course, a lecture about what the modern day diet---whether you're skinny or obese---has done to our bodies, our hearts and our life span. I gained all the weight back that I lost last year. And it was so easy to do. Life just got in the way. No. Wait. I take that back. I allowed life to get in the way. And I want to be around many, many years to enjoy it. Because after all, Big Momma said I need to be around to experience the life of my children's children because they'll be the loves of my life. Who wants to miss that?
Big Momma was not doing well when I was discharged. She is on a huge amount of medications and oxygen and still weighs 346 pounds. But she was spunky. When they came to take her for more tests, she said to the young, thin, pretty nurse "Shugah, Ima need you to shut that door. I'm not graceful enough to get up outta this here bed in this nightgown made for negative size people without flashing my lucky charms. Now, hunnay, I know times have changed for your generation, but I don't show my lucky charms for free. You gonna have to at least buy me dinner.....or something sweet because this cardiac diet is for the cows." I tried hard not to chuckle out loud but she heard me. She said "Laugh out loud, baby. That's what life is all about. Laughing out loud. I think your generation even rolls around the floor laughing your booty off. Lawdy, if that actually worked, I'd look like Beyonce and act like a diva!" Somehow, I believe her.
Maybe the relief that the chest pains I had were not a heart attack. Maybe it's because of Big Momma that I enjoyed my stay. Maybe the code RED was a reality check. Maybe the clean bill of health fuels me to not ruin a 2nd chance. Whatever it is......Big Momma is right: Times have changed for our generation. And I'm going to have to work really, really hard to make the necessary changes......permanently. Take care of your heart.....and your lucky charms. ;)
That's just how I see it. But maybe it's my misperception.
