A Conversation Gone Bad

I never know where a question will lead or how bad it will end. And this conversation was no exception.

M: is me, Z: is Zippy.


Z: "When do you die?"
M: "When you get old." (Where is this going?)
Z: "How old? Old OLD or just old?"
M: "Really old." (Wanting this conversation to be over, but knowing it has just begun!)
Z: "Like when your skin looks like mine after playing in the bathtub for a long time?"
M: "Yes."
Z: "Am I going to die?"
M: (ARGH!) "Yes, a long, long, long time from now."
Z: "What if we have an accident in the car."
M: "I'm very careful."
Z: "Even while you are typing on the phone and driving?"
M: (Crap! I really have to stop doing that. I'm signing Oprah's No Phone Zone pledge.) "That's bad. Mommy won't do that anymore."
Z: "Good. Because if you do, we could die and our skin won't be old."
M: (Is this over yet?)
Z: "But wait. If everyone dies when they get old, I am the youngest one in the house. I am going to be here all alone." (He is now crying.)
M: (I hug him.) "You know how daddy and I are married and have kids? We have our own house and family. When gramma dies (Yes, I see the error now, thank you.) I wont be home alone. I am here with you. See. You will have your own family."
Z: "Gramma is going to die!? Oh nooooooooo!" (Sobbing uncontrollably)
M: "Sweetie, you don't have to worry about this. Nothing is going to happen."
Z: "Ok. But I don't want to die alone. I want to have a dog."
M: (What the ……..?) "Ok. Get a dog."
Z: "Ok, I will!" (He said this very calm and serious.)

Long pause. I can see the thought coming……………….and here it goes.

Z: "OH NOOOOOOO! (crying again.) "I wont have a car and I will be all alone and I don't know where PetCo is! I won't be able to get a dog!"
M: (I'm thinking…..knowing he loves French Toast Sticks.) Hey, I got French Toast at the store yesterday.
Z: "YOU DID? YAY!"


It's finally over! That wiped me out. I can have just about any conversation with any of the kids. But, conversations about death when they are young inevitably require me to emotionally scar my kid or lie. I opt for the lie. Maybe I do it more for myself. Either way, I was just glad french toast came to my rescue.

That's just how I see it. But maybe it's my misperception.