Fireworks safety tips to consider this New Year’s

• Stay Alert. Never mix alcohol with fireworks, sparklers and novelties.
• Adult supervision. Never allow children to light or handle them.
• Take Precautions. Always keep a hose and a bucket of water nearby in case of emergencies.
• Let Sleeping fireworks, sparklers and novelties Lie. Don’t try to relight fireworks, sparklers and novelties that don’t ignite. Wait 15 - 20 minutes, then douse and soak them with water and throw them away.
• Obey All Laws. Please obey state laws regarding the use of fireworks, sparklers and novelties.
• Protect Your Pets. Animals are often frightened by the sounds of fireworks, sparklers and novelties. To protect your “best friends,” keep them indoors — away from the loud noise — and secure.

Legoland's Christmas Bricktacular and Kids' New Year's Eve

Although the presents have been opened, you can still savor the holiday season by taking a trip to Legoland Florida in Winter Haven. From now until December 31st, Legoland Florida is celebrating a Christmas Bricktacular. There are plenty of festive Lego decorations to admire as you "play your part" in Central Florida's newest theme park. Cheerful holiday music can be heard and snow falls throughout the day in The Beginning near The Market. There's even a nightly fireworks show at 7pm through December 31st.






The centerpiece of the Christmas Bricktacular festivities is a 30-foot tall Lego Christmas tree which is made up of over 270,000 Lego and Duplo bricks, shimmering lights and Lego ornaments. Even though it's amazing to see in the daylight, this unique tree really sparkles at twilight!

If you're looking for a memorable and fun way to ring in the New Year with the whole family, then be a part of Legoland Florida's first ever Kids' New Year's Eve event. Plan to spend the day riding the fabulous rides, watching entertaining live shows and movies, and eating tasty treats throughout the park. You can even take a leisurely stroll through the historical botanical gardens, build your own Lego towers in the Imagination Zone and see if your engineering skills stand up to a simulated earthquake.


The Christmas Bricktacular and Kids' New Year's Eve holiday events are included with park admission. For more information, please visit the Legoland Florida website at www.legoland.com.

Submitted by Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine Social Mom Lisa-Marie who is always on the go with a tiny tot in tow.

The Procrastinator's Guide to Holiday Shopping

More than one-third of consumers have already finished most of their holiday shopping, a figure released by the American Research Group on Monday that's particularly irritating to procrastinators. Just because you waited until the last minute, however, doesn't mean you have to pay top price for the dregs of merchandise.

In an effort to reduce their inventories further, some stores are dropping prices as Christmas approaches, so it sometimes pays to wait. Still, it's a lot more stressful and shoppers are more likely to grab the first thing they see, regardless of price. Avoid overshooting your budget by following these six tips for last-minute holiday shopping.

1. Skip the Hottest Toys
The odds of finding a Nerf Vortex or a Sesame Street Let's Rock Elmo rank up there with winning the lottery. Even if you could locate the object of your child's most expensive affection, stores will likely have jacked up prices as they know shoppers are desperate.

2. Read Your Junk Mail
Remember all those merchant e-newsletters you receive throughout the year? Well this is the time to start reading them. Online retailers usually include coupon codes that allow you to score great last-minute deals.

3. Take Advantage of Free Shipping Day
It's not too late to order gifts online. Scheduled in its fourth year for Dec. 16, Free Shipping Day allows procrastinators to shop from over 2,000 merchants with free shipping by Christmas Eve. You'll find both big-name and small business merchants at FreeShippingDay.com, along with many great deals.

4. Keep Comparing Prices
Stressed shoppers will often pay whatever a retailer charges for an item just to cross it off their gift list. However, it's important to comparison shop even when you're in a hurry, which is why sites like PriceGrabber.com are so helpful this time of year. Simply enter the product name and the site locates a store near you with the lowest price. Better yet, get notified via FreePriceAlerts, a free browser download that updates you via e-mail or mobile app when your desired item drops in price.

5. Seek Out Free Gifts
Victoria's Secret is making 100,000 fans very happy with free gift cards given away on Facebook each day through Dec. 15. American Express cardholders who spend $25 or more at select stores are receiving a surprise gift by email through their "Gift Chain Program" (while supplies last). Keep an eye out for such special deals as they're all over the place this year.

6. Last-minute Lifesavers
The secret to successful procrastination is making it seem like you plan things well in advance. Gift cards are a go-to solution for anyone facing a last-minute gifting challenge, especially now that they're available in printable, e-mail and mobile formats from popular merchants. You can also find printable gift wrap for small purchases from sites like gift-wrapit.com for last-minute packaging.

About the Author: Andrea Woroch is a consumer and money-saving expert for Kinoli Inc.

How My Smart Phone Keeps Me Organized

Yes, I am one of those moms. You know the ones that I am talking about – the ones that always have their phone in their hand. I admit, it’s like an extension of me. The few times that I have forgotten it, I felt like part of me was missing.

When I got my first smart phone a couple of years ago, it was more like a shiny new toy. As my life has gotten busier between my kids, my husband, my job, and writing, it’s become more like a lifesaver. Ok, that’s exaggerating some, but it really does help me every day in many different ways.

Here is a list of ways that it helps me to keep things together at least a little bit.

1. Calendar: I put EVERYTHING in the calendar in my phone. If there is any question as to if we have anything going on, I can quickly check it no matter where we are. I also set it up to send me reminders of appointments and such so that I don’t forget them if I am out and about.

2. Notes: I have used the notes function on my phone for many different things. I have typed in the number of the fields my girls’ soccer games are so I don’t forget when we get there. I have typed in my license plate number that I had to turn into the state park when we were camping. I think you get the idea - pretty much anything I need to remember I have put in the notes so that I have it with me.

3. Blogging: It’s hard sometimes to find the time to sit down at my laptop and get a post out. I love that I get publish a quick post from my phone. Just this morning I wrote a quick blog post while I was waiting for the kids to be able to go into school. It’s so easy to blog on the go.

4. Email: It’s so easy to shoot off a quick email from my phone no matter where I am. I can send an email to my mom, my husband, or a potential writing client. If I am waiting for an important email from a client, I don’t have to sit at home at the laptop. I always have my email with me.

5. Entertainment for my kids: We were in the car for a bit the other day unexpectedly, and I just handed over my phone to my 5 year old so she could play a game of Angry Birds and then watch some cartoons on Netflix. This is not something that I do often, but it’s nice to have the option sometimes.

6. Camera: My phone has a great camera and since I always have it with me, I can take pictures of my kids (or whatever) anytime. I can even upload them online so that my dad in Florida can see what we are up to at all times.

7. Reading: I have the Kindle app on my phone. If I am waiting somewhere, I can pull up the current book I am reading and sneak in a few pages. As a busy mom, I have to read when and where I can.

8. Cloud computing: I use various apps such as Evernote and Dropbox so I always have my important documents with me if I have a minute to do some writing or need to reference something. It’s so convenient to have that right at my fingertips.

9. Social networking: I can check Facebook quick or even Twitter. I don’t have a ton of time to spend on these things, so it’s nice to be able to check them quickly from my phone if I am waiting at the doctor’s office or for my girls to get done with school.

10. The Internet: I don’t do a lot of browsing online from my phone, but it’s nice to have the option if I want to look something up quickly.

Honestly, I would so lost without my phone. I don’t know how I functioned without it. As a busy mom of two girls who works full time and is also trying to manage a freelance writing career, it’s seriously a lifesaver.

About the Author:

I am a writer/editor at Not Just 9 to 5 and have a blog at the Working Mother magazine mom blogs. I also will be having a piece published soon at Liberating Working Moms.

Activist Gives Tips For Successful Volunteering

If volunteerism is a measure of someone’s passion, then Lisa Sellman’s knows no bounds.

Sellman, a professional dog trainer and owner of a pet care business, volunteers periodically with no fewer than 16 different organizations, with her activities ranging from working at an animal shelter to taking disabled kids on nature hikes during the summer. She is a community activist and lifelong volunteer, and she knows what it means to serve others.

"If you want to feel good, volunteer," said Sellman, also author of the children’s book The Legend of the Wolves of Gunflint Lake (www.lisasellman.com), which contains the theme of the value of community service.

"There are few ways to feel as good about yourself as volunteering. Now, I realize that many of us are wrapped up with work and family, trying to make ends meet, so the idea of volunteering can seem like it’s just another ‘have-to’ to write into the already crowded calendar. However, I know for a fact that if you do it right, it can be a great stress reliever and a source of true joy in your life."

The key to discovering that feeling is to let your passion guide you when you decide to volunteer, she added. Her tips for beginning volunteers include:

Choose Wisely – Many people get "roped into" volunteering for an organization because their boss is involved with a charity or a family member is working on a community project. Those can be rewarding ways to enter volunteerism, but only if the project is a match for your personal interests. The most important aspect to volunteerism is to find what you love, and direct your energies into a charity or community organization that matches those passions. If you’re an animal lover, work with a wildlife rescue mission or animal shelter. If you are a nature buff, there are plenty of environmental foundations that can use an extra set of hands. If sports is your thing, there are plenty of community recreation centers that need coaches for needy kids enrolled in their programs. No matter your interest, you can match it to a cause that needs help. Just pick the right one, and your volunteer time won’t be a chore – it will be a joy.

Watch Your Schedule – As much as you want your passion to direct your choice of project, you don’t want those volunteer projects to rule your schedule. Make sure you balance your volunteer time carefully so that your professional life and your family time doesn’t take a critical hit. Most organizations will take as much time as you offer them, but if you only have an hour or two each week, they’ll take that time, too. Your volunteer life should not consume your work or home life.

Have Fun – Helping others is its own reward, but it shouldn’t feel like a chore. Even the most mundane task can be fun if you manage it with a sense of humor and passion for helping others.

"You don’t have to spend a lot of time as a volunteer," Sellman said. "If everyone gave even just an hour a week, every community organization in the country would be turning volunteers away, because they’d have more than enough. The key is to understand that volunteerism doesn’t have to take over your life, and that if you do it right, it will add far more to your spirit than it takes away from your calendar."

About Lisa Sellman

Lisa Sellman is a professional dog trainer and owner of a pet care business who volunteers for half a dozen charitable organizations. She believes that community service is its own reward, a message that resonates throughout her children’s book The Legend of the Wolves of Gunflint Lake. The book encourages parents and children to discuss being of service in the community and how this can lead to lives of compassion and connectedness. (www.lisasellman.com)

One-of-a-kind Website Takes the Guess Work Out of Safety Parameters for Young Kids and the Web

It’s a moment many parents are apprehensive about. Our little one learns how to navigate the mouse and becomes interested in using it. Before we know it they are online playing games, checking out their favorite websites, and will soon start interacting with friends and family via email. As exciting as this is for children, it opens a whole new world of worry for moms and dads. We give our kids helmets and training wheels while they learn to ride a bike; it should be similar with the Internet given all of its potential dangers!

A one-of-a-kind website takes the guess work out of safety parameters for young kids and the web. Zilladog.com is a guarded 100% safe Internet portal and email system that can be used at home or in schools. If you check out www.zilladog.com and it’s easy to see why kids and parents love it. Besides giving kids all their favorite games, websites, movies and entertainment at their fingertips, the site has a bevy of safety features that protect kids from predators and protects the family computer from contaminated spam, spyware, etc.

Just some of the state-of-the-art safety components include:

No links to 3rd party websites, rather only links to sites that have been reviewed by its staff of parents. When clicking on a 3rd party link in Zilladog.com you are not redirected on the Internet, rather the link opens up safely within the Zilladog.com website.

Zilladog uses a parent-approved buddy system for its email and chat service. You need to enter a parent password to approve a buddy for your child. This means when on the Zilladog.com website, your child will only be communicating with people they actually know and who have been approved by you, the parent.

The site was designed to automatically filter out inappropriate spam and unsolicited email. If you give your child an email with Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo, etc. they can easily receive a link to a contaminated virus. We all know pop-ups are widely common when “surfing” the Internet!

Now More Than Ever, Classrooms Need Parents : Teacher Offers Tips for Being the Best Volunteer Ever

As states continue to slash education budgets to accommodate declining tax revenues, schools respond by trying to squeeze even more out of their beleaguered teachers: class sizes grow, planning periods are cut, each student gets less attention.

What can we do? Project Appleseed, a non-profit public education advocate, is asking parents across the country to lend a hand in their child’s school on Nov. 17, its 18th annual National Parent Involvement Day. Not coincidentally, it falls during American Education Week, Nov. 13-19.

“Volunteers and adult assistants in classrooms make a huge difference, especially with schools and teachers under so much stress,” says Paddy Eger, a veteran teacher, parent trainer and volunteer, and author of Educating America 101: Strategies for Adult Assistants in K-8 Classrooms (www.paddyeger.com).



“With a little training and a handful of strategies, most adults can effectively assist both teachers and students," Eger says. “One hour a month or a week helping students is a small investment of time that has big returns.” 

Sometimes, however, the best-intentioned volunteers become yet another pair of hands tugging for attention on the teacher’s sleeve. Volunteers working with small groups of students, such as tutoring sessions, also risk wasting precious instructional time if they’re not prepared and don’t know how to manage the group.

In more than 20 years as a primary and intermediate grade teacher, Eger has developed a number of simple strategies that allow volunteers to both maximize their usefulness and minimize distractions to the teacher. Her suggestions don’t replace training provided by the school, since that’s tailored to the teachers’ needs, but they will greatly enhance time spent working directly with students.

They include:

If you have questions for the teacher: Schedule a meeting that’s not at a time when students are in the classroom. Do not expect to meet with the teacher unannounced for “just a minute.” Also, if the teacher provides materials for an activity, don’t expect him or her to walk you through it. Take time to read the directions and gather supplies days before your classroom visit.


Establish a consistent meeting place: If your group will meet regularly, ask the teacher before your first visit to help you establish a place that you can use every time you visit. Nothing kills an activity faster than spending valuable time looking for a place to work.


Choose your seat wisely: Don’t sit at one end of a rectangular table. Sitting in the middle seat along one side allows you to see all of the students and reach out to touch their work. It also makes you part of the group, and allows you to speak in a softer voice. For round tables, sit so you – not the students – face nearby tables or other distractions.


To help children become active listeners, don’t repeat questions: If the student says he doesn’t understand the question, ask him to repeat what he thinks he heard. If the student is still confused, ask another student to rephrase the question. Once again, ask the first student to repeat what he just heard.


Be prepared for a change in plans: Have a “pocket activity” ready in case a schedule change means you’ll have less time with the children. This is a simple game, such as a math or spelling game, or a book or news article that can be started or stopped at any time without losing its value.

Assistants, especially those who’ve taken the time to prepare, can have a big impact in a classroom, Eger says.

“Assistants provide the extra hands and help to gather materials, lead small groups, prepare enriching activities and manage day-to-day tasks,” Eger says.

“While they can’t solve all of the problems associated with drastic budget cuts, they can help ensure students feel as little of the sting as possible.”

About Paddy Eger:

Paddy Eger is a 20-year teacher from Washington State whose years as a trainer in the Parent Cooperative Education Program created the basis for her. She graduated from the University of Washington with a degree in elementary education.


Teen Tresses: Tips from the Hair Doctors at Philip Kingsley

As children start entering their teen years, their bodies go through a variety of changes, thanks to hormones and added stresses that come into play. These hormones can cause changes in hair texture. Philip Kingsley Trichologist, Elizabeth Cunnane Phillips offers advice to teens about hair care during these challenging years. By following Elizabeth’s “Teen Hair 101”, adolescents can achieve healthy and beautiful hair.

Elizabeth Cunnane Phillips Teen Hair 101

Puberty Scalp Changes:

• At puberty, the sebaceous glands enlarge, resulting in an increased production of sebum, the oily substance that lubricates every hair as it emerges from the scalp
• An excess of this can lead to greasy hair, which sometimes can have an unpleasant odor
• The solution is frequent washing, which encourages the scalp to lessen the amount of grease produced

Dandruff

• Certain yeasts can cause dandruff; medicated shampoo should be used to reduce the population of these yeasts on the scalp
• Stress can also increase dandruff; daily washing is the best to optimize the health of the hair and scalp

Diet

• Diet has an important influence on the hair, so teenagers should eat a balanced diet, with an emphasis on freshly prepared foods
• A good intake of protein is important for the body to be able to produce strong hair
• Hairs are made of a type of protein called Keratin
• It is particularly important once girls start menstruating that they have a good intake of iron rich foods, as maintaining adequate iron is vital for optimum hair growth

Hair Processing

• Hair straightening and curling irons have become extremely popular with young girls, but they can be quite damaging to the hair
• Protective serums may protect the hair, but it is best not to use the hair straightener or curling iron every day

Hair Coloring

• It is always best to have hair colored professionally in a salon, rather than attempting to color the hair at home
• After care is important to counteract the dying effect that all color products ha on the hair
• Regular use of an intensive hair conditioning treatment will help to maintain the moisture and hydrate the dry hair

Gadgets That Make Holiday Travel a Breeze

Talking on a cell phone while driving is dangerous. But a mid-transit chat pales in comparison to the distraction of driving with one (or two!) children wailing in the backseat. Nothing increases adrenaline and quick recall of four-letter words quite like crying kids.

As parents, we can mentally cope with crying kids to and from the grocery store. But long-distance trips need more finesse. Careful preparation and a few necessities can prevent a few glitches and keep your travel going smoothly. As you prepare for holiday travels, make the most of your trip with these handy gadgets.

1. Snack Container
A signature trademark of a kid-friendly car is a Hansel and Gretel-worthy crumb collection on every surface. If you can overlook this completely annoying parenthood perk, I applaud you; otherwise invest in some creative cups. Munchkin offers an ingenious design with handles and no spill rubber top--two for under $7. Sporting a similar design but with an attachable rope (and additional solid top) is the Spill-Proof Snack Buddy Cup from One Step Ahead.

2. Window Shade
Getting on the road is tough enough; stopping to shade a sunset shouldn't be on your list of priorities. Grab a light-cutting window shade to curb the brightness. Measure your windows and buy the widest shade possible, making sure you have enough visibility in your back and rear passenger windows. Check out your options at Great Baby Products for window shade reviews.

3. Lacing Toys
Kids above age 3 (who don't suffer from motion sickness) will work on lacing boards for hours. Growing Tree Toys has a fantastic range of simple lacing activities, like necklaces and ABCs, to complex connect-a-dot boards. Bring a bucket to set in your child's lap so that she can contain the blocks without dropping them on the floor.

4. Finger Puppets
For the dramatic types in your crew, a set of finger puppets can be a space-saving lifesaver. My favorite are high-quality puppets that tell a familiar story, like Thumbelina or the Frog Prince from puppet master Folkmanis, but folks on a budget can definitely afford IKEA's popular set of circus characters or animals for just $4.99.

5. Favorite Music
Not your favorite music, mind you. Junior may not appreciate the vocal stylings of Rihanna for hours on end (and, honestly, you shouldn't either). Enjoy some traditional Disney favorites and throw in some award-winning movement songs from Hap Palmer and Joe Scruggs to keep the mood kid-friendly. Bring on talk radio when it's time for a snooze.

6. Bubbles
So what if you have to clean up the residue later! Bubbles are total fun for all ages, especially when the road seems never-ending. Unless you have an older child, mom or dad needs to commandeer the liquid and blow them toward the back. The best bubbles on the market, hands down, come from Gymboree. These bubbles float forever and the solution never dries out.

7. Barf Bag
Close to 30% of people are susceptible to motion sickness, and kids are no exception. The barfies can strike at any time--there's no guarantee that your child will or won't get sick on a road trip. Prepare for the worst by investing in a few leak-proof barf bags with fun pictures printed on the outside and show your child how to "cough" into it if his tummy starts to hurt. And bring an extra couple of towels just in case.

8. Neck Pillow
This is a tricky one. Your younger child may or may not like the feeling of something so close to her neck. Try it on short stroller trips ahead of time to practice. If your kiddo will wear it, she'll be far more comfortable during naps. Pillow companions like the Dora neck pillow attach to the straps of your car seat or stroller, making it a bit more accessible.

9. Small Baking Sheets
This ingenious idea from Family Fun keeps the ever-present I-dropped-it-on-the-floor wail at bay. Use a conventional (but smaller) lipped baking sheet as a drawing, magnetic and keep-it-all-in-one place surface. Glue one or two layers of foam shelf paper on the bottom to make it less likely to fall and affix white contact paper to the top for the drawing surface. Turn it into multiple activities by attaching magnets to buttons for checkers or bingo games. Older travelers might prefer a more sophisticated travel kit like this one from Martha Stewart.

10. iPad
No, I'm not a fan of hours of screen time for little eyes, but during a road trip this godsend is a total catchall. From apps for all ages to music and movies, the iPad is the perfect device for tiny travelers. Purchasing gift cards at a discount from sites like GiftCardGranny can help you pay for the pricey device at such retailers as Target and Walmart, who are currently offering deals on iPad 2 bundles. Then, let your kiddos learn letters with Starfall or everything nursery-rhyme cooky from Duck Duck Moose. When all else fails, strap it to the seat and watch a movie. 


About the Author:

Ashley Grimaldo comes from a long line of penny pinchers and enjoys blogging on money-saving tips and advice for frugal-minded parents. She lives with her husband and three children in Bryan, Texas. Ashley has been featured among such media outlets as Redbook, The Chicago Tribune, Time.com, and CBS News-Houston.

S.A.F.E. TIPS FOR PARENTS AND TEENS DURING NATIONAL TEEN DRIVER SAFETY WEEK

Every seven days, 68 families needlessly have to bury a child before his or her senior prom and college orientation. If you divide the total number of hours in a year by the number of teen driving deaths, the outcome is one teen driving tragedy every two and a half hours in the U.S. That is why National Teen Driver Safety Week was enacted by Congress in 2007 and takes place the third week of October each year.

It’s a known fact that car crashes are the leading killer of youth, America’s most precious resource, ages 16 to 19, as more than 3,500 teenagers are killed each year on U.S. roads. In an effort to lower those numbers, Tire Rack Street Survival <http://www.streetsurvival.org/> , a national non-profit teen driver program, has committed to saving lives nationwide for nearly 10 years by teaching young drivers the skills they need to stay safe and ‘arrive alive.’

As National Teen Driver Safety Week kicks off October 16, Wade offers the following S.A.F.E suggestions for parents and teens on the road:

• Study the Basics: Teach your teen how to perform a quick vehicle maintenance check to ensure everything is working properly. Teen drivers should know where their spare tire is located, what to do in emergency situations and the importance of staying current with the oil change schedule, as outlined in the owner’s manual. Are the car’s tires inflated correctly? Is there sufficient tread depth on the tires to insure a safe stopping distance should an unexpected distraction occur? For correct tire inflation specs and for more tire-related information go to www.tirerack.com <http://www.tirerack.com> .
• Agree on Limits: Remember, your teen’s license is not about your convenience – it’s about his/her life.
• Set limits on your teen’s driving, particularly in high-risk situations such as prom night, social outings and especially in inclement weather.
• Do not let your teen ride with a young driver that has less than one year’s driving experience.
• Remember, the greater the number of teens in the car, the greater the level of distraction.
• Form a Plan: Have a clear understanding of where your teen is driving at all times, who he/she is riding/driving with and what route they intend to take. Confirm check-in times with your teen so he/she can provide updates to their plans.
• Establish a Backup: Sometimes teens make mistakes and get themselves into situations where other teen drivers have been drinking and they feel stranded. Make sure your teens have a responsible adult they can call, with a code word, if they feel they shouldn’t be driving, or are riding with another young driver who is driving recklessly or under the influence. Safety first, questions later.

“Having teens behind the wheel doesn’t have to be a terrifying occurrence for parents,” said Matt Edmonds, vice president, Tire Rack. If you prepare young drivers with the knowledge and training they need to anticipate and understand how to deal with dangers on the road and their vehicle’s capabilities, they’ll have a much higher chance of avoiding an accident.”

Tire Rack Street Survival schools are conducted by local members from regional chapters of the BMW Car Club of America (BMW CCA), the Sports Car Club of America (SCCA), Porsche Club of America (PCA) and others. The community-run program enrolls local students in neighborhoods across the country and teaches them to improve their driving competence by learning to control their vehicle through hands-on experiences in real-world driving situations in their own vehicles; all with an experienced coach at their side.

Community leaders or concerned parents interested in requesting a Tire Rack Street Survival school in their area can request one at www.streetsurvival.org <http://www.streetsurvival.org> or by calling (864) 329-1919.

About Tire Rack Street Survival®

Formed by the BMW Car Club of America Foundation (www.bmwccafoundation.org <http://www.bmwccafoundation.org> ), the Tire Rack Street Survival® safe teen driving program (www.streetsurvival.org <http://www.streetsurvival.org> ) was launched in April 2002. Tire Rack Street Survival® is built upon the premise that 'safe driving is learned by doing', and teaches students to avoid accidents by thinking and looking ahead. Tire Rack Street Survival® is unique in that it offers students instruction in their own cars so that they learn the limitations of themselves in their everyday vehicle.

Why Shouldn’t I Spank My Child?

Abuse Survivor Offers Tips For Alternative Punishments

Esther Joseph doesn’t need to read studies or statistics to understand the problems of child abuse. She survived it.

Joseph, an advocate against corporal punishment in the home, spent her childhood alternately suffering physical abuse from her mother and emotional abuse from her father. But she doesn’t consider herself a victim.

“I’m a survivor of child abuse,” said Joseph, author of Memories of Hell, Visions of Heaven—A Story of Survival Transformation and Hope(www.unityinherited.com). “In overcoming the damage of an upbringing riddled with violence, I was adamant that I would not grow up to be an abuser, as well. I know the dangers of striking a child to discipline them and then explaining that you’re doing it for their own good and because you love them. All that does is teach the child that violence is an acceptable part of love, and as they grow up, they accept violence in their adult relationships because they’ve been taught that it’s completely normal.”

Joseph believes that discipline is important, but that it can be delivered without making violence an acceptable part of life.

“No matter how out of control a child may be considered, a beating is never an effective way to get their attention, obedience or respect,” she added. “Parents must understand that there are other disciplinary measures, less violent and degrading methods that will garner the results they seek, while raising children to become emotional health and fulfilled adults.”

Joseph offered a few simple tips for alternative means of helping children behave. They include:

• Be a Good Example – Parents must live by example, allowing their actions and not just their words to exemplify the kind of person they would like their child to become.

• Be One Step Ahead – Don’t wait until your child has done something “wrong” to have a talk with them. Parents can circumvent many foreseeable challenges by addressing them before they become an issue.

• Be Creative – One type of punishment does not work for every child. Parents must figure out and utilize a form of reprimand that would work best for their child’s particular temperament.

“Every spanking, no matter how mild, has an impact,” Joseph said. “Parents should be aware that a spanked child becomes a emotionally crippled adult who goes out into the world and plays this handicap onto others, perpetuating the idea that abusive relationships are just a normal part of life. Now, I understand that people justify it by thinking, ‘I was spanked as a child and I turned out okay,’ but that equation doesn’t work for everyone. When we begin to justify violence as a part of our children’s lives, it becomes a slippery slope when we try to determine how much is too much? A spanking every once in a while? Using a belt or a hairbrush instead of a hand if a child is really misbehaving? At what point do you say it’s too much? The bottom line is that once is too much, because it makes a second, third and 20^thtime that much easier to rationalize. But for those who have been abused, no matter their pasts, it does not define them nor does it determine their future. Everyone can break the bonds of their past experiences and find their way to the life and future they crave.”

About Esther Joseph

Esther Joseph was born and raised on the tiny Caribbean island of Saint Lucia. She moved to the U.S. at the age of 16 with her mother and two older bothers. She holds a Master’s Degree in international affairs from New York University. Her goal is to help others still in the grips of abuse and violence to break the cycle and find a way to a place of healing.

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.” This saying may seem obvious, although today’s youth seem to think the opposite. Who can blame them though – unlike the baby boomers the new generation of youth have grown up in a time of economic prosperity and are used to being coddled by their parents. In 2011 alone, over 85 percent of college graduates will be moving back home (Huffington Post).

Recently, the recent economic situation has shown us that anything can happen at any given moment and we (and our children) need to be prepared. Though it may not be possible to teach a pre-schooler the complexities behind 401Ks and credit cards, it is possible to start teaching children the importance of money at an early age. Chicago Healers Practitioner Julie Murphy Casserly (CLU, ChFC, CFP) stresses the importance of instilling good money habits in children as early as possible and offers easy conversation topics to address the issue at every age.

· Pre-School
Yes, money patterns begin to formulate during the pre-school years. You can start talking to your child about money when they are 2 or 3 by explaining that everything costs money – from the food they eat, the clothes they wear, to the house they live in. These talks need to go beyond the necessities too. Explain that new toys, accessories or video games are things your family can live without. Introduce new toys to them a few at a time, rather than showering them with an over-abundance of playthings. This will help them get used to the fact that they don’t need a heap of toys to be happy.

· School-Aged
By the time your child is 6 or 7 years old you can start teaching them about prioritizing their money. For example, when you are at the toy store, instead of letting them pick anything off the shelf, try giving your child five dollars and letting them choose something that fits within this price tag. For parents who buy their children anything and everything, the child will expect this treatment later on in life, giving them a sense of entitlement. Ask yourself, is this the reality I want for my child 15 years from now?

This is also the point in time to show your child that money is the result of hard work. Work out a plan with a family friend or neighbor where your child will do housework or yard work for $5-$10 cash. Then give them the power to choose how they want to spend or save their hard-earned money.

· High School
At this time, it is critical to create a financial collaboration with your son or daughter. Encourage them to get a part-time job to help pay for their car insurance, their gas or portions of the monthly car payment. Children should be held accountable for sharing some of these costs with their parents. Once they get that paycheck, establish guidelines on how it should be dispersed — 1/3 goes towards that car payment, 1/3 goes towards their future college fund and 1/3 can be spent on whatever they choose.

During this age, it’s also important to highlight the importance of living a quality of life, rather than the quality of things that you own. Help your children understand that material things like a brand new car when they turn 16, are often a source of immediate happiness, but sooner or later, this happiness fades and they will be left searching for deeper self-fulfillment.

· College
Your child is an adult now. Have an adult conversation with them about their finances and make sure they understand how credit works. Tell them about your experiences with credit card use – the good, bad and the ugly. Once kids are on their own, temptations will always arise and children in this age bracket will more than likely consider opening a credit card to fund some of these temptations. Explain how credit cards can bring a false sense of financial reality. They make us less conscious of where our money is flowing and how much we are spending. Talk about how the constant struggle to earn cash to pay off debt can take a physical and emotional toll.

July issue of Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine