Legoland's Christmas Bricktacular and Kids' New Year's Eve

Although the presents have been opened, you can still savor the holiday season by taking a trip to Legoland Florida in Winter Haven. From now until December 31st, Legoland Florida is celebrating a Christmas Bricktacular. There are plenty of festive Lego decorations to admire as you "play your part" in Central Florida's newest theme park. Cheerful holiday music can be heard and snow falls throughout the day in The Beginning near The Market. There's even a nightly fireworks show at 7pm through December 31st.






The centerpiece of the Christmas Bricktacular festivities is a 30-foot tall Lego Christmas tree which is made up of over 270,000 Lego and Duplo bricks, shimmering lights and Lego ornaments. Even though it's amazing to see in the daylight, this unique tree really sparkles at twilight!

If you're looking for a memorable and fun way to ring in the New Year with the whole family, then be a part of Legoland Florida's first ever Kids' New Year's Eve event. Plan to spend the day riding the fabulous rides, watching entertaining live shows and movies, and eating tasty treats throughout the park. You can even take a leisurely stroll through the historical botanical gardens, build your own Lego towers in the Imagination Zone and see if your engineering skills stand up to a simulated earthquake.


The Christmas Bricktacular and Kids' New Year's Eve holiday events are included with park admission. For more information, please visit the Legoland Florida website at www.legoland.com.

Submitted by Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine Social Mom Lisa-Marie who is always on the go with a tiny tot in tow.

When Should Your Child Stay Home from School Due to a Cold?

-When is it appropriate for parents to let their child stay home from school?

Going to school can be very stressful for children. When children aren't feeling well, the stress of the school day can be too much. When children are ill, they are more tired, cranky and tend not to eat or drink. This sets them up to get further dehydrated and ill. To keep an illness from progressing, a day at home may be the first step. At home, caregivers can encourage a child to eat nourishing food like chicken soup, drink hydrating fluids such as water and rest.

-Is it better for your child to stay home so you don't get other children sick?

Keeping your child home from school is important for both your child's health as well as the health of their classmates and teachers. Children will exchange germs and get ill more frequently compared to adults. Many of the viruses that cause colds are airborne. Teach your children to sneeze into the crook of their arms and to cover their mouths when coughing. Then encourage them to wash their hands after coughing, blowing their noses and before eating. Also coughing onto toys can contaminate them and make others fall sick. Make sure your teacher is aware of your child's illness so hygiene precautions can be implemented at school.

-What signs or symptoms should a child have in order to be absent?

Some general rules of thumb to skip school include a fever over 101 degrees Fahrenheit, a severe cough, and nausea, vomiting and wheezing. These same symptoms also merit calling your pediatrician and arranging for a trip to their office. Other important signs of illness are rash and general malaise.

-Which cold remedy works the best?

Most physicians and the FDA no longer recommend cough and cold medicines for childen especially younger than age 2. For children older than 2, be wary of overdosing a child but using more than one remedy with the same ingredient. Children's Tylenol, Advil or Motrin can help with headache and low-grade fever. Always follow the directions on the label and from yur physician. Cold-EEZE zinc lozenges or oral spray are an effective way to decrease the duration of a cold. Studies from Dartmouth and the Cleveland Clinic have shown a decrease by 42% of a cold's duration. Zinc gluconate works best when started on the first day of symptoms so always keep some handy. Clean humidifiers also go a long way in keeping your child comfortable with their nasal symptoms. Keep you child well-hydrated. Unfortunately, the studies have fallen short in proving the efficacy of Vitamin C.

-Is there a way parents can prevent their children from getting sick?

Teaching your child good hygiene is the best prevention for staying healthy. Washing hands before eating or touching the eyes, nose and mouth is essential. A well-balanced diet, good hydration and rest are also important.

About the Author:
Dr. Yael Halaas, ear, nose and throat doctor. She’s been featured on round up/lifestyle and breaking news segments on The Doctors, FOX News and ABC New York.

Social Mom Product Review: Baby Polar Gear Booster Seat

We really like the Baby Polar Gear Booster Seat. It is stylish and very practical. It is so easy to attach to a kitchen or restaurant chair that my four year old can do it, although we check it afterwards. The five point restraint harness and adjustable straps keep your child safe. It is easy to clean, compact and lightweight. It is also very easy to fold up for transport. The chair retails for around $40 depending on the website.

Starting a Revolution with Hoes, Horses, and Healthy Habits: Seven Ways MindStream Academy Is Fighting Back Against Childhood Obesity


You’ve probably heard: One in three children in the U.S. is obese. It’s the issue of 
our time, and it seems to be getting worse. Learn what one unconventional school 
in South Carolina is doing to fight the epidemic…one child at a time.

“Obese” is not the word that should first come to mind when we think of the nation’s young people. Vivacious might be a good one. Creative, intelligent, and optimistic wouldn’t be bad, either. And yet, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, for 12.5 million young people in the U.S., “obese” defines them. When you consider how it limits the potential of so many kids, isolates them, and shortens their lives, you can see why childhood obesity gets so much ink these days. And yet, all the “awareness” in the world isn’t solving the problem, notes Dr. David Katz.

“Childhood obesity is the issue of our time,” says Dr. David Katz, a leading international authority on nutrition, weight management, and the prevention of chronic disease. “And while it’s too crucial a topic not to talk about, all the scary statistics haven’t been able to move the needle on this national epidemic. Grassroots action—taking one child at a time and helping him unlearn the patterns that led to his weight gain—is the only thing that works.”

MindStream Academy, for which Dr. Katz serves as senior medical advisor, is a case in point. A full-service boarding school on a pristine 43-acre horse farm in South Carolina, it helps teens and tweens who want to get healthy and fit, lose weight, take control of their lives, and build self-esteem.

It offers a positive, safe, and caring natural environment in which teens learn proven life skills that allow them to handle the stress and triggers that lead to unhealthy habits. In addition to working with a fully accredited middle school and high school curriculum, students get hands-on intensive and comprehensive health coaching, including nutrition, fitness, and behavioral interventions.

“MindStream Academy operates on the premise that being overweight isn’t just a physical issue,” says Dr. Katz. “It’s not just about eating more healthfully and exercising. It’s also about overcoming negative emotions, low self-esteem, social anxiety, and more. All of these factors play into the toxic cycle that leads to excess weight. That’s why MindStream takes the unusual approach of focusing not just on weight loss but on the ‘whole child.’ We take into account the mind, body, and spirit.”

In other words, MindStream provides its students with the skills and tools they need for a lifetime of healthy and happy living. Read on to learn more about its approach:

MindStream teaches sustainability instead of extremes. There is an avalanche of weight loss advice out there today promising quick results. However attractive these “quick-fix” programs may seem to desperate teens, most are either unrealistic for the average person or require unhealthful extremes. That’s why MindStream teaches its students an organic, sustainable way to lose weight by changing their lifestyles. And it’s why the program requires a semester minimum because it usually takes four months for the behavioral changes to stick.

“MindStream does not promote public weigh-ins, extreme calorie counting/restricting, or aggressive fitness regimens,” notes Dr. Katz. “My perspective on any challenging problem—and obesity certainly makes that list—is that we must both cultivate will and pave the way. Will power can start us moving forward, but only skill power will get us over the finish line. In that spirit, MindStream students learn to better manage stress. They learn to be mindful, to garden, to cook fresh wholesome and delicious foods, to enjoy moving their bodies (perhaps for the first time), and to appreciate the great outdoors—overall becoming more grounded to the earth. These are all the raw materials for physical, emotional, and social well-being.

“The causes of epidemic obesity are obvious and simple—we eat too much of all the wrong things, and do too little,” he adds. “The solutions are equally obvious and simple—we need to eat less and better stuff, and be more active. At MindStream there is nothing extreme about what we are doing. We just bring kids back to the basics. They put down their electronics, develop a relationship with themselves, their bodies, and the world around them, and start setting and achieving goals.

“Feet, forks, and fingers are the master levels of medical destiny for not just thousands, or tens of thousands on any one occasion, but the medical destiny of millions upon millions, year after year. We have known, but we have not managed to care. At least, not deeply enough to turn what we know into what we routinely do.”

It takes kids out of the virtual world and into the natural world. The way kids live these days is unnatural in the most literal sense of the word. It sets them up to become obese. It starts at school where physical education has been severely reduced or cut completely and where healthy food options lose out to pizza and soft drinks. After school, fast food and huge portion sizes abound. And kids spend long hours in front of the computer, playing video games, or watching TV rather than outdoors in physical activity.

“Throughout most of human history, calories have been scarce and hard to get, and physical activity has been unavoidable,” says Dr. Katz. “We applied our ingenuity to these problems and solved them. For most Americans, today’s food supply is readily available. We no longer have to spend energy hunting and gathering to put dinner on the table. We have devised technology that has made physical exertion not merely discretionary, but downright elusive.

“Today’s young people are disconnected from the natural world,” he continues. “MindStream unplugs their video games and computers, turns off the TV, and gets them moving. It gets their hands in the earth and teaches them a healthier way to relate to food. Students spend huge parts of their days breathing fresh air via fitness clinics held outdoors, walking around the campus lake, working with horses, taking lengthy bike rides. As they get back to nature, and to a more natural way of living, their minds, spirits, and bodies slowly become healthier.”

It provides a safe haven for positive change. Many obese teens come from negative school environments where they’re bullied and ostracized by their fellow students. They feel trapped by their weight physically, and those feelings lead them to be trapped socially as well. They often turn to a solitary, sedentary lifestyle where food is a comfort. MindStream takes them out of the world where they learned and developed harmful patterns so they can relearn healthier ones.

“Enrolling in MindStream is like pushing the pause button on a world that’s overwhelming you,” says Dr. Katz. “It gives teens the luxury of immersing themselves in a new way of life. Most of the food options we encounter in most places we go come in bags, boxes, bottles, jars, and cans—not peels. To choose well among these options requires a ‘how to’ skill set: how to read a nutrition facts panel; how to size up an ingredient list; how to see past banner ads and marketing hype to the truth; how to tell which of the dozens of choices in any food category from beans to breakfast cereal is worse for you, better for you, best for you.

“At MindStream, students have the time and the support they need to develop these life skills that will help them make healthy living sustainable. And they’re with peers who know exactly how bad it feels to be young and overweight. You can tell a young person to eat better and exercise, but if he’s in an environment that won’t allow him to practice these new skills until they become habits, it’s just wasted words.”

It helps teens address what’s eating them (psychologically, that is). Being overweight comes with its own psychological and social stresses. So does losing weight. Consider that when young people have bariatric surgery and experience dramatic weight loss, it isn’t uncommon for them to have an existential crisis. They realize they’re still the same person—with the same self-esteem issues, the same unhealthy relationship with food, the same stresses—they’re just smaller. If they can’t deal with the mental and emotional side of weight loss, they’ll never sustain it.

Neurobiofeedback is one tool MindStream uses to help them deal with stress. As part of MindStream’s comprehensive counseling (clinical, therapeutic) program, it retrains abnormal brainwave patterns through a non-invasive, psychotherapeutic, and behavioral technique. Basically, students learn self-regulation exercises designed to keep the psychological, neurological, and biological mind-body connection in harmony.

“We’ve found that this process helps teens learn to regulate dysfunction in their brains that can lead to compulsive, anxious, and depressive overeating behaviors,” explains Dr. Katz. “Neurobiofeedback is a fun, solution-focused, and non-threatening way for MindStream students to get their minds right, so to speak, at the same time they’re getting their bodies back on track.”

It uses equine-assisted psychotherapy to break down defenses and teach kids valuable new skills. Specially trained staff members set up activities involving horses that require participants to use creative thinking, non-verbal communication, and leadership skills to accomplish a task. Equine-assisted therapy is a fun, nonthreatening way for teens to develop problem-solving skills, resourcefulness, personal accountability, improved self-esteem, and more. And of course, they gain a new friend who loves them unconditionally.

“Horses can reach kids that no one else can,” says Dr. Katz. “We had one student who was depressed and possibly even suicidal until he began working with Louie, one of MindStream’s horses. The horse gave him a sense of purpose, and, ultimately, he ended up losing over a hundred pounds.”

It gives them tasks that lead to confidence and self-esteem. Overweight young people face bullying, name-calling, and endless small slights, both intentional and unintentional. In addition they are constantly bombarded with messages in magazines, television shows, ads, and movies that thinner is better and that it’s okay to make fun of and marginalize overweight and obese people. All of this takes a serious toll on their self-image. It’s MindStream’s job to build them back up—and that starts with giving them responsibilities that create a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

“Besides holding teens to high academic standards, leaders expect them to work in the ‘soul garden’ growing fresh vegetables,” notes Dr. Katz. “They harvest fresh plant food ingredients for the kitchen and work hands-on with MindStream chefs to prepare simple, delicious, natural, healthy meals. And they’re also responsible for feeding, caring for, and exercising the horses in the equine therapy program.

“If you don’t believe that you can make changes in your life, you’re probably not going to try,” he adds. “A lack of confidence causes you to stall out before you even begin. The work kids do at MindStream corrects that confidence deficit. When a teen sees that she is making progress in communicating with a horse and doing a good job as a caretaker or successfully prepares a delicious but healthy meal, her confidence grows…and she becomes more open to personal change.”

MindStream makes it a family affair. Young people cannot sustain weight loss if they do not have the support of their family. It is extremely difficult for anyone to continue making weight loss progress when those around them don’t or won’t make healthy living a priority. That’s why students’ families participate in the program through weekly counseling sessions via Skype, nutrition education, and weekend workshops.

“Let’s face it: It’s one thing to lose weight when you’re in a protected environment surrounded by professionals whose only job is to give you the skills to help you succeed,” says Dr. Katz. “It’s something else entirely to walk out of that haven into the real world and be able to continue living those changes. That’s why families have to change, too. And by doing so, we could eliminate 80 percent of all heart disease and strokes; 90 percent of all diabetes; and as much as 60 percent of all cancer. If they’re not part of the solution, they’re part of the problem. They must become a support system to assist the teen in his struggle to control his feelings, behavior, and weight.”

“Perhaps the most significant change that our students achieve is that they arrive feeling despondent and they leave feeling like new people,” says Dr. Katz. “The changes that are made here are not skin deep. There are tremendous shifts in personal responsibility, self-esteem, healthy risk taking, and the students also develop a sense of hope through accomplishing tremendous goals.

“A young person who comes here doesn’t just achieve a change in his physical form,” he adds. “The way he relates to his own emotions, his environment, and the people around him is transformed forever. And what he learns at MindStream will be with him for the rest of his life.”

About Dr. David Katz:
As one of the leading international authorities on nutrition, weight management, and the prevention of chronic disease, Dr. David Katz is in the trenches of the war against childhood obesity. In fact, he warned us many years ago that today’s younger generation will not live as long or as healthfully as their parents. Dr. Katz is also a prolific author, having published over 120 scientific papers, numerous textbook chapters, nearly a thousand newspaper columns, and a dozen books to date. In 2009 he was nominated for the position of U.S. Surgeon General to the Obama Administration by the American College of Physicians, the American College of Preventive Medicine, and the Center for Science in the Public Interest, among other national and international health organizations. He is also the founding director of Yale University Prevention Research Center, director and founder of Integrative Medicine Center at Griffin Hospital, president of Turn the Tide Foundation, Inc., and editor-in-chief of the Childhood Obesity journal.

About MindStream Academy:
MindStream Academy is a full-service boarding school on a pristine 43-acre horse farm in South Carolina for teens and tweens who want to get healthy, fit, lose weight, take control of their lives, build self-esteem, and pursue a personal passion.

Kids Can Learn to Control Their Lives by Controlling Their Money Dropout-to-Millionaire Offers Tips for Raising Take Charge Children

As a teenager, Trevor Bolin was a drug-abusing high school dropout who weighed in at more than 300 pounds. He supplemented his meager income pumping gas by hauling possessions to the pawn shop, where he picked up just enough money for hot dogs and Kraft mac and cheese.

By 17, Bolin decided he’d had enough. He came up with a plan, and within two years, he’d quit drugs, lost more than 100 pounds, and was close to paying off $85,000 in debt.

By 28, he earned his first $1 million in one year.

And he did it simply by coming up with a plan and putting the plan in motion.

“My life has nothing to do with luck, good or bad,” Bolin, 32, writes in his new book, Take Charge and Change Your Life Today (www.bolininternational.com). “It revolves around working hard, giving back as much as (if not more than) I get, accepting that attitude is everything, and being grateful for what I have.”

He wishes he had learned those lessons long before he became an unhappy teenager with a seemingly hopeless future.

While many parents teach their children the basics of fiscal responsibility by giving them an allowance, Bolin says his experience offers less obvious but equally important lessons. Children need to have a healthy attitude toward money, not only to avoid making choices that make them unhappy, but to allow them a life path that they control.

“I learned my lessons the hard way,” he says. “You can start now to make sure your children never reach the bottom that I hit.”

These are some places to start:

• Avoid making negative comments about money: Sayings like “money is the root of all evil” and “a fool and his money are soon parted” are negative and therefore not helpful. Make a commitment, starting today, not to use those phrases. Imagine what a child believes about money if that’s what they hear all the time? 
Money is a great thing -- when you know what to do with it and when you control it rather than allowing it to control you.

• Help children recognize the financial lessons they learn from experience: Say you warned your child he should set aside some of Grandma’s birthday money, but he spent it all on impulse. When he’s disappointed later because he can’t buy something he wants, remind him why he can’t. Tell him that feeling disappointed is a small price to pay for a valuable lesson. And won’t it be much easier if he learns the lesson after just one sad experience? 

• Pay yourself first:If your child receives a weekly allowance, he or she should immediately put 10 to 15 percent into a savings account that won’t be touched. Or set a milestone for when money from the account can be used, such as the child’s 18th birthday. By then, she’ll be so accustomed to saving, she probably won’t tap the account even when she can. 

• Help your child set goals: Setting financial goals, noting progress toward achieving them, and enjoying the satisfaction of crossing them off the list are fiscally sound lessons and a good way to nurture healthy attitudes in general. Your child might set goals for the month ($10 to go to the movies), goals for the year (save $200 for a Wii system) and goals for the future ($375 a year for the next eight years for a car when I’m 16.)

“Goals are the first step in achieving what you desire in this world,” Bolin says.

“You can create success in any aspect of life – not just money – as long as you’re putting a plan in motion.”

About Trevor Bolin

Trevor Bolin owns three realty companies in British Columbia, including one in his hometown of Fort St. John, which was named the No. 1 RE/MAX small-density office in the world. He’s also chairman of Bolin & Co. International Training, which offers coaching and seminars for business people. He has served three terms on the Fort St. John City Council.


’Tis the Season for Teachable Moments: Nine Ways to Help Your Kids (Politely!) Connect and Communicate This Holiday Season

Just like adults, kids are required to navigate a variety of social settings throughout the holidays. Maribeth Kuzmeski shares expert advice on how to help your kids behave appropriately and engage meaningfully with everyone from the grocery store clerk to Grandma and Grandpa.

“Aww, man! I wanted a new game for my Xbox, not another sweater.” Or, “…click…click…” (That’s the sound of a teenager texting instead of answering Aunt Debbie’s question.) If you’re a parent, you’ve been there at one point or another, and you know that a child’s social missteps—even if they aren’t purposeful or malicious—can be mortifying.

According to Maribeth Kuzmeski, the holiday season is when parents tend to notice most acutely which of their kids’ habits could use improvement—after all, friends and family are there to witness what you see as an embarrassing display that reflects poorly on your parenting skills.

“As a parent myself, I know that in the everyday hurry and worry of life, it’s easy to let your kids’ smaller foibles go uncorrected,” admits Kuzmeski, author of the new book The Engaging Child: Raising Children to Speak, Write, and Have Relationship Skills Beyond Technology (Red Zone Publishing, 2012, ISBN: 978-0-9717780-3-0, $18.95). “And once you’re in the midst of the packed holiday social season, it’s too late to correct behaviors you previously overlooked. The good news is, there’s no better time than now to take advantage of teachable moments, before all of those parties and gatherings begin.”

Giving parents the tools they’ll need to help their children develop a strong ability to connect with others is the focus of Kuzmeski’s latest book. It’s packed full of strategies and techniques that will teach kids to engage others meaningfully and productively, a skill that—according to research—plays a huge role in driving personal and professional success. As an added bonus, the last two chapters of the book are written by Kuzmeski’s seventeen-year-old daughter, Lizzie. They are meant to be read by Lizzie’s fellow teens and tweens in order to provide a peer’s perspective on the elements of building and maintaining real relationships in a wired and fast-paced world.

“My experience as a professional and as a parent has convinced me that one of the most valuable gifts you can give your kids is to teach them how to effectively engage with others in a variety of settings,” Kuzmeski confirms. “And the holiday season provides a wealth of opportunities to demonstrate and practice those skills.”

Kuzmeski recommends taking stock of all of the parties, pageants, and social settings you’ll be attending with your kids in the upcoming weeks, and deciding beforehand what habits and skills you’d like them to demonstrate.

“Don’t assume that your child ‘would never’ act in a certain way, or even that he or she ‘knows better’ than to engage in a particular behavior,” she advises. “Remember, kids don’t always know intuitively when they need to be on their best behavior, and they can’t ‘fake it’ as easily as adults can. The truth is, young people aren’t as disengaged and rude as we assume them to be—they just don’t always know the proper way to act. So start having these discussions now, not when you’re parking at Grandma’s house. And always, always be sure to model appropriate behaviors yourself!”

The more you practice good connecting skills with your children, the more they’ll become ingrained as habits. Here are nine holiday situations that Kuzmeski recommends using to instill productive communicating skills in your kids:

Teach them that sometimes it’s cool to unplug. One of the biggest complaints that adults have with “young people today” is that they’re always “plugged in.” To some extent, that’s true—email, social networking, text messaging, mp3 players, and more have radically changed the way this generation communicates and spends its free time. Now, technology isn’t bad in and of itself, but we all know that it can lead to disengaged and even rude behavior—especially at holiday gatherings. You’ll probably meet with some resistance, but it’s important to teach your kids when they need to step away from the keyboard, and why face-to-face interactions are the most rewarding of all.

“Place a basket at the door during any family event and collect all electronic devices before the mingling starts,” Kuzmeski suggests. “Include a note on the basket that reads, ‘So you can enjoy the friends and family you’re with.’ Explain to your kids how important it is to engage fully with people you love, especially if you don’t see certain individuals during the rest of the year. Point out that if they stay distracted by text messages and Facebook friends, they’ll miss out on fun and memories with cousins, grandparents, and siblings. Plus, kids need to understand that not giving others your attention is just plain rude…and that it won’t be allowed in your family.”

Arm them with ice breakers. For youngsters who spend most of their days “LOLing,” “BRBing,” and “TTYLing,” having a good old-fashioned verbal conversation might be unfamiliar, if not downright intimidating. Especially if your child isn’t a natural chatterbox, it might be helpful to give him a few ideas of how he can strike up a discussion with people he doesn’t see every day.

“Even before the days of smartphones and Facebook, it was completely normal for youngsters to feel reluctant to approach older adults,” Kuzmeski points out. “You’ll be doing your kids a big favor if you arm them with icebreakers that they can use to proactively connect. Before holiday events, discuss what some good topics of discussion might be and help them to make a list of strategies for drumming up conversation. They’ll also be able to power through any awkward lulls in conversation that might otherwise discourage them from taking the connecting initiative in the future.” NOTE to EDITOR: See attached tipsheet.

Explain the importance of expressing gratitude. We live in a “me, me, me” society, and even more than adults, kids tend not to think far beyond their own emotions and experiences. (Don’t blame them; much of it is biological.) During the holidays, that selfish hardwiring tends to manifest itself in a cursory “Thanks for my present!” before the child in question runs off to play with her new loot or rip open the next package. This year’s gift-swapping is a good opportunity for your kids to learn how to express gratitude in a much more meaningful way.

“Explain to your children before the first round of presents is handed out why it’s important to show gratitude,” Kuzmeski says. “Make sure they understand that each present represents the fact that another person cares about them and spent time and money to make them happy. Then, talk about meaningful ways to show gratitude. Perhaps it’s setting aside a few minutes after gift giving to say thanks privately to the gift giver. For example, your daughter might say, ‘I really appreciate the new coat, Grandma. I’ve been eyeing it forever and I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally have it!’ You might also suggest that your children keep a small pad and pen so that they can jot down what they received, and from whom. Later, set aside some time to sit down and write thoughtful thank-you notes together.”

Make sure they mind their manners. During a typical weekday dinner on almost any given day of the year, you might decide to let a muttered, “Eeew, this is gross,” pass without comment. After all, you’re tired from a long day at work and you really don’t have the desire or the energy to disrupt the meal with a lecture. However, the same under-the-breath comment at your mother-in-law’s Christmas extravaganza is the last thing you want to hear from your son. (And that’s only one of many potentially embarrassing situations that might crop up.) Therefore, take advantage of every opportunity to reinforce politeness and to explain why various behaviors aren’t appropriate.

“There are plenty of opportunities over the holidays for kids to practice their manners,” Kuzmeski points out. “Now, and as you start to attend various festive events, be alert for opportunities to remind your children what the appropriate thing to do is, and to help them exercise those ideals while they are still in the moment. For example, if your child cuts in line out of excitement while waiting to see Santa, reinforce that he needs to wait his turn, and explain to him that jumping ahead of others is disrespectful to them. Also, try not to ‘let things slide just this once.’”

Empower them while you’re traveling. Plenty of families pack up and hit the road to visit family during the holiday season. You may be tempted to handle everything on your own for the sake of convenience, but Kuzmeski asserts that this is a wonderful opportunity to empower your children by allowing them to navigate “adult” situations.

“Capitalize on all of the teachable moments that arise as you travel with your family,” she reiterates. “For example, let your daughter interact with the hotel receptionist and take care of all check-in aspects except the payment. If you need extra towels in your room, let your child call down to the front desk to request them. You could even let her call the airline’s automated number to double-check a flight time and status. When you accustom your children to these tasks early on, they’ll be much less timid and uncertain as they venture out on their own in the years to come.”

Help them to host an event. For most of us, the holiday calendar will be peppered with social events. Your family might even be hosting your own festive get-together. If that’s the case, teach your child the value of being a host and “working” his own party. If you’re throwing a neighborhood gathering, for example, go with your child as he travels from door to door personally inviting each family on your street. Assuming your guests live farther away, sit with him as he phones those to whom he’s closest and asks them to attend your soiree.

“Once the big event is here, have your child greet all of his friends when they arrive,” Kuzmeski instructs. “Then, ask him to keep an eye open to make sure that everyone feels welcome and included—while enjoying himself, of course! You can also help him to direct the flow of the party. (‘Now we’re going to play pin the tail on Rudolph!’ Or, ‘If you need more sprinkles for decorating your gingerbread man, just let me know!’) Lastly, teach him to thank all of the guests for attending as they leave. The fact is, many people don’t learn these skills until they’re adults, so you’ll be giving your child a major leg up.”

Help them connect at the cash register. ’Tis the season for shopping, and the fact is, if you want good service, you must first be a good customer. Learning the value of connecting with the people you do business with—from clients and vendors right down to the lady who checks you out at the grocery store—can mean better experiences for you and for them. While your kids won’t be pitching their company’s product or trying to compromise with a contractor for years to come, they can definitely start learning the skills that will help them do so.

“The next time you and your kids head out to the market or to the mall, help them figure out how to engage with store employees,” Kuzmeski recommends. “Suggest that they thank an employee who showed you where to find an item, let a manager know about a great service experience, or ask the cashier, for once, how his or her day is going.”

Make sure they deliver teacher gifts. It may seem silly to adults who have been conducting their own affairs for years, but personally delivering a gift to an authority figure—particularly a teacher—can be difficult for kids to do. Often, it’s a brand-new way in which to interact with this respected adult, and many children simply aren’t sure how to proceed.

“Instead of having your child leave a gift anonymously on her teacher’s desk, or even handing it over and racing away in embarrassment, coach her on how to deliver a gift in a meaningful way,” Kuzmeski says. “Don’t assume your child can wing it—create a script she can use to tell her teacher how much she appreciates her. She might even mention what she has enjoyed learning about the most. Also, tell your child to include her best wishes for a happy holiday season!”

Remind them to stay on their best behavior—especially in the presence of adults. As most parents are acutely aware, there are more than enough opportunities over the holidays for kids to be under the watchful eyes of adults who don’t normally see them. For better or for worse, it can feel like your success as a parent is up for debate. Yes, you’ll want your kids to behave for your own sake…but it’s also important to teach them that appropriate behavior, as well as right and wrong, don’t change from situation to situation.

“From parties to play dates to family gatherings, explain to your kids that even though they may not be directly interacting with an adult, that adult might still be observing and evaluating their behavior,” Kuzmeski says. “Tell tweens and teens especially that you never know which adult (whether it’s a friend’s parent, a coach, a teacher, etc.) might give you (or turn you down for) your first job or write a college recommendation for you. This concept will also hold true later in life—after all, an uncouth joke in the break room that’s overheard by your boss can have serious ramifications.”

“Ultimately, remember that there is no such thing as a perfectly behaved child,” concludes Kuzmeski. “You’ll probably hit some rough patches as you navigate the holiday season, but if you’re proactive about teaching your child to connect, they will be the exception rather than the rule. And remember, by helping them to grow into connectors, you’ll be giving them—and yourself—a truly invaluable gift this holiday season.”

The Procrastinator's Guide to Holiday Shopping

More than one-third of consumers have already finished most of their holiday shopping, a figure released by the American Research Group on Monday that's particularly irritating to procrastinators. Just because you waited until the last minute, however, doesn't mean you have to pay top price for the dregs of merchandise.

In an effort to reduce their inventories further, some stores are dropping prices as Christmas approaches, so it sometimes pays to wait. Still, it's a lot more stressful and shoppers are more likely to grab the first thing they see, regardless of price. Avoid overshooting your budget by following these six tips for last-minute holiday shopping.

1. Skip the Hottest Toys
The odds of finding a Nerf Vortex or a Sesame Street Let's Rock Elmo rank up there with winning the lottery. Even if you could locate the object of your child's most expensive affection, stores will likely have jacked up prices as they know shoppers are desperate.

2. Read Your Junk Mail
Remember all those merchant e-newsletters you receive throughout the year? Well this is the time to start reading them. Online retailers usually include coupon codes that allow you to score great last-minute deals.

3. Take Advantage of Free Shipping Day
It's not too late to order gifts online. Scheduled in its fourth year for Dec. 16, Free Shipping Day allows procrastinators to shop from over 2,000 merchants with free shipping by Christmas Eve. You'll find both big-name and small business merchants at FreeShippingDay.com, along with many great deals.

4. Keep Comparing Prices
Stressed shoppers will often pay whatever a retailer charges for an item just to cross it off their gift list. However, it's important to comparison shop even when you're in a hurry, which is why sites like PriceGrabber.com are so helpful this time of year. Simply enter the product name and the site locates a store near you with the lowest price. Better yet, get notified via FreePriceAlerts, a free browser download that updates you via e-mail or mobile app when your desired item drops in price.

5. Seek Out Free Gifts
Victoria's Secret is making 100,000 fans very happy with free gift cards given away on Facebook each day through Dec. 15. American Express cardholders who spend $25 or more at select stores are receiving a surprise gift by email through their "Gift Chain Program" (while supplies last). Keep an eye out for such special deals as they're all over the place this year.

6. Last-minute Lifesavers
The secret to successful procrastination is making it seem like you plan things well in advance. Gift cards are a go-to solution for anyone facing a last-minute gifting challenge, especially now that they're available in printable, e-mail and mobile formats from popular merchants. You can also find printable gift wrap for small purchases from sites like gift-wrapit.com for last-minute packaging.

About the Author: Andrea Woroch is a consumer and money-saving expert for Kinoli Inc.

Stocking Stuffers and Great Gifts This Holiday

This holiday season we had so many products to review that we could not fit them all in our gift guides! But I wanted to make sure that some of these products still got their moment in the spotlight, because they are fantastic options for stocking stuffers and gifts!

Stocking Stuffer Ideas:

Mini-Mergency Kits: These kits may be little, but they are HUGE lifesavers! I was able to review one, and needless to say it has gotten me out of a few pickles! Small enough to keep in any bag, it makes it easy to have all emergency necessities easily accessible. These packs are available for males, females, moms, dads, brides, bridesmaids…you get the point! There is one for each individual and occasion. Perfect for a stocking stuffer, secret holiday gifter or just because! http://www.msandmrs.com/

Nonni’s Biscotti: From the classic biscotti, to biscotti bites, anyone would be happy to receive these delectable snacks in their stocking. With so many flavors to choose from such as Turtle Pecan (my favorite) to Triple Milk Chocolate, the family will be fighting over the crumbs! http://www.nonnis.com/index.html

DVD’s To Make Any Kid Happy:

Some of our favorite DVD’s available this holiday season are:
Winnie The Pooh: http://disney.go.com/pooh/
AfricanCats: http://disney.go.com/disneynature/africancats/
The Lion King: http://disney.go.com/lionking/?cmp=dmov_dvd_lio_url_dcomgolionking_Extl
Nickelodeon’s Merry Christmas!: http://www.amazon.com/Nickelodeon-Favorites-Artist-Not-Provided/dp/B005DKS1SU
Nickelodeon’s Celebrate with Dora 3 Disc Set: http://www.amazon.com/Dora-Explorer-Celebrates-Three-Pack-Christmas/dp/B005JZBP82

Preventative Gifts:

There is no greater gift than health, and some of the products we received this year could be perfect stocking stuffers as we fight our way through the cold and flu season:

Boogie Wipes: http://www.boogiewipes.com/
Xlear Nasal Spray: http://www.xlear.com/nasal-spray.aspx
Topricin Junior Children’s Pain Relief and Healing Cream: http://www.topricin.com/prod_detail_list/topricin-junior

Just imagine…

Just imagine…

If every family reused just two feet of holiday ribbon, the 38,000 miles of ribbon saved could tie a bow around the entire planet.

If every American family wrapped just 3 presents in re-used materials, it would save enough paper to cover 45,000 football fields.

The 2.65 billion Christmas cards sold each year in the U.S. could fill a football field 10 stories high. If we each sent one card less, we’d save 50,000 cubic yards of paper. Consider sending an electronic card.

Source: www.use-less-stuff.com and www. recycleworks.org.

Activist Gives Tips For Successful Volunteering

If volunteerism is a measure of someone’s passion, then Lisa Sellman’s knows no bounds.

Sellman, a professional dog trainer and owner of a pet care business, volunteers periodically with no fewer than 16 different organizations, with her activities ranging from working at an animal shelter to taking disabled kids on nature hikes during the summer. She is a community activist and lifelong volunteer, and she knows what it means to serve others.

"If you want to feel good, volunteer," said Sellman, also author of the children’s book The Legend of the Wolves of Gunflint Lake (www.lisasellman.com), which contains the theme of the value of community service.

"There are few ways to feel as good about yourself as volunteering. Now, I realize that many of us are wrapped up with work and family, trying to make ends meet, so the idea of volunteering can seem like it’s just another ‘have-to’ to write into the already crowded calendar. However, I know for a fact that if you do it right, it can be a great stress reliever and a source of true joy in your life."

The key to discovering that feeling is to let your passion guide you when you decide to volunteer, she added. Her tips for beginning volunteers include:

Choose Wisely – Many people get "roped into" volunteering for an organization because their boss is involved with a charity or a family member is working on a community project. Those can be rewarding ways to enter volunteerism, but only if the project is a match for your personal interests. The most important aspect to volunteerism is to find what you love, and direct your energies into a charity or community organization that matches those passions. If you’re an animal lover, work with a wildlife rescue mission or animal shelter. If you are a nature buff, there are plenty of environmental foundations that can use an extra set of hands. If sports is your thing, there are plenty of community recreation centers that need coaches for needy kids enrolled in their programs. No matter your interest, you can match it to a cause that needs help. Just pick the right one, and your volunteer time won’t be a chore – it will be a joy.

Watch Your Schedule – As much as you want your passion to direct your choice of project, you don’t want those volunteer projects to rule your schedule. Make sure you balance your volunteer time carefully so that your professional life and your family time doesn’t take a critical hit. Most organizations will take as much time as you offer them, but if you only have an hour or two each week, they’ll take that time, too. Your volunteer life should not consume your work or home life.

Have Fun – Helping others is its own reward, but it shouldn’t feel like a chore. Even the most mundane task can be fun if you manage it with a sense of humor and passion for helping others.

"You don’t have to spend a lot of time as a volunteer," Sellman said. "If everyone gave even just an hour a week, every community organization in the country would be turning volunteers away, because they’d have more than enough. The key is to understand that volunteerism doesn’t have to take over your life, and that if you do it right, it will add far more to your spirit than it takes away from your calendar."

About Lisa Sellman

Lisa Sellman is a professional dog trainer and owner of a pet care business who volunteers for half a dozen charitable organizations. She believes that community service is its own reward, a message that resonates throughout her children’s book The Legend of the Wolves of Gunflint Lake. The book encourages parents and children to discuss being of service in the community and how this can lead to lives of compassion and connectedness. (www.lisasellman.com)

One-of-a-kind Website Takes the Guess Work Out of Safety Parameters for Young Kids and the Web

It’s a moment many parents are apprehensive about. Our little one learns how to navigate the mouse and becomes interested in using it. Before we know it they are online playing games, checking out their favorite websites, and will soon start interacting with friends and family via email. As exciting as this is for children, it opens a whole new world of worry for moms and dads. We give our kids helmets and training wheels while they learn to ride a bike; it should be similar with the Internet given all of its potential dangers!

A one-of-a-kind website takes the guess work out of safety parameters for young kids and the web. Zilladog.com is a guarded 100% safe Internet portal and email system that can be used at home or in schools. If you check out www.zilladog.com and it’s easy to see why kids and parents love it. Besides giving kids all their favorite games, websites, movies and entertainment at their fingertips, the site has a bevy of safety features that protect kids from predators and protects the family computer from contaminated spam, spyware, etc.

Just some of the state-of-the-art safety components include:

No links to 3rd party websites, rather only links to sites that have been reviewed by its staff of parents. When clicking on a 3rd party link in Zilladog.com you are not redirected on the Internet, rather the link opens up safely within the Zilladog.com website.

Zilladog uses a parent-approved buddy system for its email and chat service. You need to enter a parent password to approve a buddy for your child. This means when on the Zilladog.com website, your child will only be communicating with people they actually know and who have been approved by you, the parent.

The site was designed to automatically filter out inappropriate spam and unsolicited email. If you give your child an email with Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo, etc. they can easily receive a link to a contaminated virus. We all know pop-ups are widely common when “surfing” the Internet!

Now More Than Ever, Classrooms Need Parents : Teacher Offers Tips for Being the Best Volunteer Ever

As states continue to slash education budgets to accommodate declining tax revenues, schools respond by trying to squeeze even more out of their beleaguered teachers: class sizes grow, planning periods are cut, each student gets less attention.

What can we do? Project Appleseed, a non-profit public education advocate, is asking parents across the country to lend a hand in their child’s school on Nov. 17, its 18th annual National Parent Involvement Day. Not coincidentally, it falls during American Education Week, Nov. 13-19.

“Volunteers and adult assistants in classrooms make a huge difference, especially with schools and teachers under so much stress,” says Paddy Eger, a veteran teacher, parent trainer and volunteer, and author of Educating America 101: Strategies for Adult Assistants in K-8 Classrooms (www.paddyeger.com).



“With a little training and a handful of strategies, most adults can effectively assist both teachers and students," Eger says. “One hour a month or a week helping students is a small investment of time that has big returns.” 

Sometimes, however, the best-intentioned volunteers become yet another pair of hands tugging for attention on the teacher’s sleeve. Volunteers working with small groups of students, such as tutoring sessions, also risk wasting precious instructional time if they’re not prepared and don’t know how to manage the group.

In more than 20 years as a primary and intermediate grade teacher, Eger has developed a number of simple strategies that allow volunteers to both maximize their usefulness and minimize distractions to the teacher. Her suggestions don’t replace training provided by the school, since that’s tailored to the teachers’ needs, but they will greatly enhance time spent working directly with students.

They include:

If you have questions for the teacher: Schedule a meeting that’s not at a time when students are in the classroom. Do not expect to meet with the teacher unannounced for “just a minute.” Also, if the teacher provides materials for an activity, don’t expect him or her to walk you through it. Take time to read the directions and gather supplies days before your classroom visit.


Establish a consistent meeting place: If your group will meet regularly, ask the teacher before your first visit to help you establish a place that you can use every time you visit. Nothing kills an activity faster than spending valuable time looking for a place to work.


Choose your seat wisely: Don’t sit at one end of a rectangular table. Sitting in the middle seat along one side allows you to see all of the students and reach out to touch their work. It also makes you part of the group, and allows you to speak in a softer voice. For round tables, sit so you – not the students – face nearby tables or other distractions.


To help children become active listeners, don’t repeat questions: If the student says he doesn’t understand the question, ask him to repeat what he thinks he heard. If the student is still confused, ask another student to rephrase the question. Once again, ask the first student to repeat what he just heard.


Be prepared for a change in plans: Have a “pocket activity” ready in case a schedule change means you’ll have less time with the children. This is a simple game, such as a math or spelling game, or a book or news article that can be started or stopped at any time without losing its value.

Assistants, especially those who’ve taken the time to prepare, can have a big impact in a classroom, Eger says.

“Assistants provide the extra hands and help to gather materials, lead small groups, prepare enriching activities and manage day-to-day tasks,” Eger says.

“While they can’t solve all of the problems associated with drastic budget cuts, they can help ensure students feel as little of the sting as possible.”

About Paddy Eger:

Paddy Eger is a 20-year teacher from Washington State whose years as a trainer in the Parent Cooperative Education Program created the basis for her. She graduated from the University of Washington with a degree in elementary education.


4th Annual Pets Add Life Children’s Poetry Contest

In addition to companionship, affection, love and company, a top benefit of owning pets includes teaching children responsibility. According to APPA’s 2011 / 2012 National Pet Owners Survey, 58 percent of small animal owners rank teaching children responsibilities as a key benefit in owning pets, followed by 44 percent of equine owners and 43 percent of reptile owners, reinforcing the idea that pet ownership is, in fact, a great teaching tool for children.

“It’s refreshing to see children not only helping to care for their pets, but learning valuable life lessons and responsibilities from them as well,” said Bob Vetere, president of APPA. “There are so many joys and benefits pets of all types bring to our lives, and they truly help instill responsibility among children from ensuring they have plenty of food and water to helping them receive daily exercise and play.”

Celebrating the joys and benefits pets bring to the lives of children specifically, APPA is currently accepting poems for its 4th Annual Pets Add Life Children’s Poetry Contest.

“Every submission we receive for our Children’s Poetry Contest is the child’s expression of just how much their pet means to them and the happiness these companions bring to their lives,” said Vetere.

Students in grades 3rd-8th are invited to write a unique poem about a pet, what they love about them, the joys they bring, and then post it online at www.PetsAddLife.org or mail their final poem and submission form to: Pets Add Life, 661 Sierra Rose Dr., Reno, NV 89511. Deadline for submissions is January 31, 2012 at 5:00pm EST.

One student from each grade level (six total) nationwide will win a $250 gift certificate for pet products, and a “by-line” in a nationally circulated publication. In addition, the six winning students’ classrooms will each win a $1,000 scholarship to spend on pet related education.

To learn more about the Pets Add Life Children’s Poetry Contest, and see current submissions, visit www.petsaddlife.org.

Put the “Giving” into “Thanksgiving”: Ten Tips to Help Parents Plant the Philanthropy Seed

On Thanksgiving, many Americans are preoccupied with turkeys, parades, football games, and even Black Friday sales. It seems that over time, this holiday has become more about getting things—whether that’s food, entertainment, or bargains—than about giving thanks for what we already have. (And really, that’s just a reflection of our society’s general gimme-gimme-gimme attitude.) If you’re like most parents, you don’t want your kids to grow up focused solely on themselves, concerned only with the latest video game or with how they can get their way. You want them to feel genuine gratitude for the blessings they have and to demonstrate thought and concern for others.

According to Todd Patkin, there’s no better time than the Thanksgiving holiday to help your kids become less me-focused and more thoughtful.

“In general, I don’t believe that kids act selfishly because they genuinely don’t care about others—it’s more that they aren’t really sure how to help others and give back, because they aren’t being taught,” asserts Patkin, author of Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In (www.findinghappinessthebook.com). “It’s crucial for adults—especially those of us who are parents—to start early when it comes to raising our kids with a passion for philanthropy, and Thanksgiving provides the perfect opportunity.”

Patkin speaks from experience—giving back to others, whether it’s in his own Boston “backyard”—near the site of the first Thanksgiving, incidentally—or in a foreign country, has become an integral part of his life. Many of the organizations with which he’s involved reach out to young people, and he says he’s amazed by how readily these children and teenagers embrace the principles behind selfless service.

“I’m convinced that the ‘me’ generation isn’t as egocentric at heart as it’s made out to be,” he confirms. “However, kids do need to be guided in a positive direction, and often, that starts in the home. Parents are the greatest influencers when it comes to developing their kids’ habits and behaviors—including cultivating a desire to give and to help others. If they see you giving back as a part of your regular life, they’ll learn that behavior and carry it with them into adulthood.”

Ready to help your child take the first steps from selfishness to selflessness? Then read on for ten ways that parents can get their children geared up for giving back:

Explain philanthropy to your kids. Before you and your kids get into the proverbial trenches, it’s important to first help them realize that giving back doesn’t just mean donating money, and that generosity is not limited to giving away things you no longer want. It’s important, especially when kids are young, to start with the very basics of why it’s important to give. For example, you might ask them, “If you did not have enough food to eat or warm clothes to wear on a cold day, wouldn’t you want someone (even if you did not know them) to help you so you got the food and warmth you needed?”

“Kids will usually do what you say they should while they’re under your roof, but they won’t continue to pursue philanthropy throughout their lives unless they understand the ‘why’ behind it,” Patkin confirms. “Explain the charity work you do to your child. Tell her why you do it and who it helps, and keep an open dialogue going in your household to help her understand what’s going on. The more questions your child has (and you answer), the better grasp she’ll have on the concept.”

It’s never too early to start (don’t wait until your kids are “old enough”). Empathy is a concept that children can learn from a very early age, so look for and take advantage of teachable moments. You can start with something as basic as encouraging small children to share with one another. Ask them to consider how they’d feel if they didn’t have a toy, and how their feelings would change if a friend gave them one, for example.

“You can find ways for children to volunteer their time at any age, all year round,” says Patkin. “Smaller children can help to sort recycling or contribute to decorating posters for a bake sale or other event. Once your kids get a little older, they can donate a portion of their holiday or birthday money to a charity, or they can choose a toy to donate to needy children. You can also involve your children in philanthropy through family-wide activities like sponsoring an underprivileged child during the holidays and helping to buy his back-to-school supplies, or going as a group to visit nursing home residents. This year, you might even volunteer to work at a soup kitchen before or after your own Thanksgiving meal.”

Make it a part of everyday life. As most parents know, you’ll probably never have as much time or money as you’d like, so waiting for “just a little more” of either is futile. When it comes to giving back, there is no better time to start than now, using what you already have! You don’t need to possess unlimited time or money to get involved—you can find smaller, simpler ways to make helping others a part of your everyday routine.

“When many people think of philanthropy, they picture big-money donations and orphanages founded in third-world countries—and those things certainly qualify,” Patkin acknowledges. “However, the everyday efforts of ‘ordinary’ people can also have an incredible impact. Just remember that since parents need to model good behaviors, you’ll need to walk the talk that you’re giving to your kids. The next time you’re grocery shopping with your children, for example, buy some extra canned goods and drop them off at a food bank on the way home in preparation for the Thanksgiving rush. Then encourage your kids to be giving during their own everyday tasks, whether that means sharing art supplies or helping clean up.”

Get kids involved in the process. The more you let your children become involved in the philanthropy process, the more they’ll be invested in what you’re doing. Bring your kids in from the beginning by allowing them to help choose which organizations the family volunteers for or donates to. They’ll feel more connected to the cause, and even the youngest members can be involved, even if it just means tagging along.

“It’s a good idea to sit down with your kids and ask them to identify a problem that they want to fix,” suggests Patkin. “If they’re very young, you might give them a few options to choose from, such as feeding people who are hungry or getting winter coats for people who don’t have them. Then you can all work on finding a corresponding organization. You might also think about volunteering to organize a charity project for your child’s classroom in order to kick off a ‘giving gang’—a group of peers doing charity work together. This will encourage the type of positive peer pressure the world needs more of!”

Reinforce the value of a random act of kindness. Giving back is not always about a charity organization, a monetary donation, or volunteering—in other words, things you schedule. Kids need to understand that having a heart for others, at its core, is a way of life, not a series of appointments on your calendar. Show them that helping someone else and not expecting anything in return can happen anytime, anywhere. (You might even use the original Thanksgiving story to illustrate the value of reaching out to others, especially those who are different from us.) In fact, it’s often the small everyday acts that give us the biggest returns in terms of fulfillment and happiness, and they are things that are easy for kids to recognize and take action on.

“Guide your kids by pointing out opportunities for them to take the initiative in engaging in random acts of kindness,” instructs Patkin. “When you’re out shopping, encourage them to help an elderly lady load her groceries into her car, and then offer to return her cart to the corral. Likewise, prompt your child to hold the door for a woman pushing a baby stroller, or whisper that he might offer the last piece of pizza to his younger brother. Soon, your kids will hopefully be taking the initiative all on their own!”

Understand (and explain) that philanthropy is not one-size-fits-all. Kids naturally have more aptitude for some activities than others. The child who’s a natural artist may be stymied and bored by the intricacies of baseball—and the same principle is true when it comes to giving back. It’s important to tailor philanthropic work to a child’s personality and interests. For example, you wouldn’t take your daughter to the animal shelter if she were afraid of dogs larger than a throw pillow!

“Just as the projects individuals take on aren’t one-size-fits-all, neither are the needs of the people these projects work to benefit,” Patkin points out. “It’s important to explain this state of affairs to your child, especially if she is younger. Talk with her about how different people and situations have different needs. Some might want a hot meal, for example, while others may want someone to listen to their problems. Some places need clothes while others benefit more from monetary donations, and so on. Help her to understand why it’s important for her to match her talents, passions, and beliefs to these needs.”

There’s no substitute for real-world experience. Encouraging your kids to earmark a percentage of their allowances or to donate some of their lesser-used toys to charity is a good start—but don’t stop there. If your children can see where their donations are going and how they’re actually helping others, the giving experience will be much more real. Consider taking a family trip to visit recipient organizations so that your children can see where the money goes.

“Visiting charitable organizations in person tends to take giving to the next level,” Patkin shares. “Whether you’re seven or seventy, you’re much more likely to stay involved in philanthropy if you can see how your efforts are actually making the world a better place. In order to keep the memories fresh, make a scrapbook of your child’s volunteering experiences. Also, you can look for real-world philanthropic opportunities that connect to your child’s interests and activities. If he has a school reading list, for example, you might tie projects into the books he’s reading. If one of them is about dogs, volunteer at the animal shelter!”

Make it a family affair. When you give back as a family, your kids will see Mom and Dad as role models. Bonus: You’ll all grow closer to each other because of this shared experience. Commit as a family to spend two days per month working with a charity or doing something to help others—even if that just means helping out elderly neighbors or volunteering at the church yard sale. You might also work together to raise money for a walk, fundraiser, or other project, then walk together on race day, or go together as a family to present the money you’ve raised.

“As with any change, start small and take baby steps,” encourages Patkin. “While you may not be ready to give up your family vacation for a volunteer trip, you can eat in one night and use the money you saved on eating out to help feed the homeless. After projects or events, always be sure to have a family meeting where you sit down with your kids to talk about what you’ve done, how it made them feel, and how it helped others. Helping your kids to acknowledge the accomplishment and the good feelings associated with philanthropy will encourage them to continue their involvement. Again, I encourage you to kick off this initiative during the Thanksgiving holiday. There are plenty of organizations that would welcome a family’s worth of helping hands.”

Help your kids to focus on how good it feels to give back. Everyone likes to feel good, and kids are certainly no exception! When they feel good about something, they—like you—will want to do it again. In fact, that good feeling will be the impetus that keeps your kids motivated to continue helping others even after you’ve relinquished oversight of their daily schedules. Help them to focus on how fulfilled they are when they are doing something to help others.

“Zero in on the warm fuzzies by talking about the excitement your kids are feeling on the way to donate that box of toys, or how happy they were when they were thanked for serving food at the local soup kitchen,” Patkin suggests. “Even more importantly, talk about those experiences fairly often to remind your children of how wonderful they were. Helping kids to acknowledge their philanthropic accomplishments and the good feelings associated with them will really encourage them to get hooked on helping!”

Make sure that your expectations are realistic. At the end of the day, kids are still kids. You can’t expect them to always want to donate their toys or to be able to sit still and pay attention through every single event or presentation. (Be honest with yourself—sometimes your own attention wanders, too!) Be conscious of your children’s ages and capabilities, and (without being too quick to exclude them from an activity or event that might not be “fun” from start to finish) keep in mind that your budding philanthropists are still kids.

“In other words, don’t let yourself become frustrated or discouraged if your children don’t immediately embrace the idea of volunteering on a Saturday afternoon—persevere even if they continue to voice their preference for staying at home for weeks to come,” Patkin advises. “Any good behavior or habit takes time to cultivate, so be very aware of how you address situations when your kids act less than perfect. You want them to relate their experience as a positive one, not one in which they let you down or were punished.”

“Ultimately, raising children who understand the value of giving back—and whose lives reflect that knowledge—is one of the most philanthropically minded things parents can do, and this holiday provides the perfect opportunity,” Patkin concludes. “Don’t forget that Thanksgiving isn’t just about ‘thanking’—it’s about giving as well. After all, the original celebrants gave their food and friendship to one another, and helping others is an American legacy I’d like to see continue. And from a parental point of view, you’ll be amazed at how rewarding it is to raise philanthropists, and how much stronger giving back makes your relationship with your kids.”

About the Author:
Todd Patkin grew up in Needham, Massachusetts. After graduating from Tufts University, he joined the family business and spent the next eighteen years helping to grow it to new heights. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy. Todd lives with his wonderful wife, Yadira, their amazing son, Josh, and two great dogs, Tucker and Hunter.