Activist Gives Tips For Successful Volunteering

If volunteerism is a measure of someone’s passion, then Lisa Sellman’s knows no bounds.

Sellman, a professional dog trainer and owner of a pet care business, volunteers periodically with no fewer than 16 different organizations, with her activities ranging from working at an animal shelter to taking disabled kids on nature hikes during the summer. She is a community activist and lifelong volunteer, and she knows what it means to serve others.

"If you want to feel good, volunteer," said Sellman, also author of the children’s book The Legend of the Wolves of Gunflint Lake (www.lisasellman.com), which contains the theme of the value of community service.

"There are few ways to feel as good about yourself as volunteering. Now, I realize that many of us are wrapped up with work and family, trying to make ends meet, so the idea of volunteering can seem like it’s just another ‘have-to’ to write into the already crowded calendar. However, I know for a fact that if you do it right, it can be a great stress reliever and a source of true joy in your life."

The key to discovering that feeling is to let your passion guide you when you decide to volunteer, she added. Her tips for beginning volunteers include:

Choose Wisely – Many people get "roped into" volunteering for an organization because their boss is involved with a charity or a family member is working on a community project. Those can be rewarding ways to enter volunteerism, but only if the project is a match for your personal interests. The most important aspect to volunteerism is to find what you love, and direct your energies into a charity or community organization that matches those passions. If you’re an animal lover, work with a wildlife rescue mission or animal shelter. If you are a nature buff, there are plenty of environmental foundations that can use an extra set of hands. If sports is your thing, there are plenty of community recreation centers that need coaches for needy kids enrolled in their programs. No matter your interest, you can match it to a cause that needs help. Just pick the right one, and your volunteer time won’t be a chore – it will be a joy.

Watch Your Schedule – As much as you want your passion to direct your choice of project, you don’t want those volunteer projects to rule your schedule. Make sure you balance your volunteer time carefully so that your professional life and your family time doesn’t take a critical hit. Most organizations will take as much time as you offer them, but if you only have an hour or two each week, they’ll take that time, too. Your volunteer life should not consume your work or home life.

Have Fun – Helping others is its own reward, but it shouldn’t feel like a chore. Even the most mundane task can be fun if you manage it with a sense of humor and passion for helping others.

"You don’t have to spend a lot of time as a volunteer," Sellman said. "If everyone gave even just an hour a week, every community organization in the country would be turning volunteers away, because they’d have more than enough. The key is to understand that volunteerism doesn’t have to take over your life, and that if you do it right, it will add far more to your spirit than it takes away from your calendar."

About Lisa Sellman

Lisa Sellman is a professional dog trainer and owner of a pet care business who volunteers for half a dozen charitable organizations. She believes that community service is its own reward, a message that resonates throughout her children’s book The Legend of the Wolves of Gunflint Lake. The book encourages parents and children to discuss being of service in the community and how this can lead to lives of compassion and connectedness. (www.lisasellman.com)

Gadgets That Make Holiday Travel a Breeze

Talking on a cell phone while driving is dangerous. But a mid-transit chat pales in comparison to the distraction of driving with one (or two!) children wailing in the backseat. Nothing increases adrenaline and quick recall of four-letter words quite like crying kids.

As parents, we can mentally cope with crying kids to and from the grocery store. But long-distance trips need more finesse. Careful preparation and a few necessities can prevent a few glitches and keep your travel going smoothly. As you prepare for holiday travels, make the most of your trip with these handy gadgets.

1. Snack Container
A signature trademark of a kid-friendly car is a Hansel and Gretel-worthy crumb collection on every surface. If you can overlook this completely annoying parenthood perk, I applaud you; otherwise invest in some creative cups. Munchkin offers an ingenious design with handles and no spill rubber top--two for under $7. Sporting a similar design but with an attachable rope (and additional solid top) is the Spill-Proof Snack Buddy Cup from One Step Ahead.

2. Window Shade
Getting on the road is tough enough; stopping to shade a sunset shouldn't be on your list of priorities. Grab a light-cutting window shade to curb the brightness. Measure your windows and buy the widest shade possible, making sure you have enough visibility in your back and rear passenger windows. Check out your options at Great Baby Products for window shade reviews.

3. Lacing Toys
Kids above age 3 (who don't suffer from motion sickness) will work on lacing boards for hours. Growing Tree Toys has a fantastic range of simple lacing activities, like necklaces and ABCs, to complex connect-a-dot boards. Bring a bucket to set in your child's lap so that she can contain the blocks without dropping them on the floor.

4. Finger Puppets
For the dramatic types in your crew, a set of finger puppets can be a space-saving lifesaver. My favorite are high-quality puppets that tell a familiar story, like Thumbelina or the Frog Prince from puppet master Folkmanis, but folks on a budget can definitely afford IKEA's popular set of circus characters or animals for just $4.99.

5. Favorite Music
Not your favorite music, mind you. Junior may not appreciate the vocal stylings of Rihanna for hours on end (and, honestly, you shouldn't either). Enjoy some traditional Disney favorites and throw in some award-winning movement songs from Hap Palmer and Joe Scruggs to keep the mood kid-friendly. Bring on talk radio when it's time for a snooze.

6. Bubbles
So what if you have to clean up the residue later! Bubbles are total fun for all ages, especially when the road seems never-ending. Unless you have an older child, mom or dad needs to commandeer the liquid and blow them toward the back. The best bubbles on the market, hands down, come from Gymboree. These bubbles float forever and the solution never dries out.

7. Barf Bag
Close to 30% of people are susceptible to motion sickness, and kids are no exception. The barfies can strike at any time--there's no guarantee that your child will or won't get sick on a road trip. Prepare for the worst by investing in a few leak-proof barf bags with fun pictures printed on the outside and show your child how to "cough" into it if his tummy starts to hurt. And bring an extra couple of towels just in case.

8. Neck Pillow
This is a tricky one. Your younger child may or may not like the feeling of something so close to her neck. Try it on short stroller trips ahead of time to practice. If your kiddo will wear it, she'll be far more comfortable during naps. Pillow companions like the Dora neck pillow attach to the straps of your car seat or stroller, making it a bit more accessible.

9. Small Baking Sheets
This ingenious idea from Family Fun keeps the ever-present I-dropped-it-on-the-floor wail at bay. Use a conventional (but smaller) lipped baking sheet as a drawing, magnetic and keep-it-all-in-one place surface. Glue one or two layers of foam shelf paper on the bottom to make it less likely to fall and affix white contact paper to the top for the drawing surface. Turn it into multiple activities by attaching magnets to buttons for checkers or bingo games. Older travelers might prefer a more sophisticated travel kit like this one from Martha Stewart.

10. iPad
No, I'm not a fan of hours of screen time for little eyes, but during a road trip this godsend is a total catchall. From apps for all ages to music and movies, the iPad is the perfect device for tiny travelers. Purchasing gift cards at a discount from sites like GiftCardGranny can help you pay for the pricey device at such retailers as Target and Walmart, who are currently offering deals on iPad 2 bundles. Then, let your kiddos learn letters with Starfall or everything nursery-rhyme cooky from Duck Duck Moose. When all else fails, strap it to the seat and watch a movie. 


About the Author:

Ashley Grimaldo comes from a long line of penny pinchers and enjoys blogging on money-saving tips and advice for frugal-minded parents. She lives with her husband and three children in Bryan, Texas. Ashley has been featured among such media outlets as Redbook, The Chicago Tribune, Time.com, and CBS News-Houston.

S.A.F.E. TIPS FOR PARENTS AND TEENS DURING NATIONAL TEEN DRIVER SAFETY WEEK

Every seven days, 68 families needlessly have to bury a child before his or her senior prom and college orientation. If you divide the total number of hours in a year by the number of teen driving deaths, the outcome is one teen driving tragedy every two and a half hours in the U.S. That is why National Teen Driver Safety Week was enacted by Congress in 2007 and takes place the third week of October each year.

It’s a known fact that car crashes are the leading killer of youth, America’s most precious resource, ages 16 to 19, as more than 3,500 teenagers are killed each year on U.S. roads. In an effort to lower those numbers, Tire Rack Street Survival <http://www.streetsurvival.org/> , a national non-profit teen driver program, has committed to saving lives nationwide for nearly 10 years by teaching young drivers the skills they need to stay safe and ‘arrive alive.’

As National Teen Driver Safety Week kicks off October 16, Wade offers the following S.A.F.E suggestions for parents and teens on the road:

• Study the Basics: Teach your teen how to perform a quick vehicle maintenance check to ensure everything is working properly. Teen drivers should know where their spare tire is located, what to do in emergency situations and the importance of staying current with the oil change schedule, as outlined in the owner’s manual. Are the car’s tires inflated correctly? Is there sufficient tread depth on the tires to insure a safe stopping distance should an unexpected distraction occur? For correct tire inflation specs and for more tire-related information go to www.tirerack.com <http://www.tirerack.com> .
• Agree on Limits: Remember, your teen’s license is not about your convenience – it’s about his/her life.
• Set limits on your teen’s driving, particularly in high-risk situations such as prom night, social outings and especially in inclement weather.
• Do not let your teen ride with a young driver that has less than one year’s driving experience.
• Remember, the greater the number of teens in the car, the greater the level of distraction.
• Form a Plan: Have a clear understanding of where your teen is driving at all times, who he/she is riding/driving with and what route they intend to take. Confirm check-in times with your teen so he/she can provide updates to their plans.
• Establish a Backup: Sometimes teens make mistakes and get themselves into situations where other teen drivers have been drinking and they feel stranded. Make sure your teens have a responsible adult they can call, with a code word, if they feel they shouldn’t be driving, or are riding with another young driver who is driving recklessly or under the influence. Safety first, questions later.

“Having teens behind the wheel doesn’t have to be a terrifying occurrence for parents,” said Matt Edmonds, vice president, Tire Rack. If you prepare young drivers with the knowledge and training they need to anticipate and understand how to deal with dangers on the road and their vehicle’s capabilities, they’ll have a much higher chance of avoiding an accident.”

Tire Rack Street Survival schools are conducted by local members from regional chapters of the BMW Car Club of America (BMW CCA), the Sports Car Club of America (SCCA), Porsche Club of America (PCA) and others. The community-run program enrolls local students in neighborhoods across the country and teaches them to improve their driving competence by learning to control their vehicle through hands-on experiences in real-world driving situations in their own vehicles; all with an experienced coach at their side.

Community leaders or concerned parents interested in requesting a Tire Rack Street Survival school in their area can request one at www.streetsurvival.org <http://www.streetsurvival.org> or by calling (864) 329-1919.

About Tire Rack Street Survival®

Formed by the BMW Car Club of America Foundation (www.bmwccafoundation.org <http://www.bmwccafoundation.org> ), the Tire Rack Street Survival® safe teen driving program (www.streetsurvival.org <http://www.streetsurvival.org> ) was launched in April 2002. Tire Rack Street Survival® is built upon the premise that 'safe driving is learned by doing', and teaches students to avoid accidents by thinking and looking ahead. Tire Rack Street Survival® is unique in that it offers students instruction in their own cars so that they learn the limitations of themselves in their everyday vehicle.

Why Shouldn’t I Spank My Child?

Abuse Survivor Offers Tips For Alternative Punishments

Esther Joseph doesn’t need to read studies or statistics to understand the problems of child abuse. She survived it.

Joseph, an advocate against corporal punishment in the home, spent her childhood alternately suffering physical abuse from her mother and emotional abuse from her father. But she doesn’t consider herself a victim.

“I’m a survivor of child abuse,” said Joseph, author of Memories of Hell, Visions of Heaven—A Story of Survival Transformation and Hope(www.unityinherited.com). “In overcoming the damage of an upbringing riddled with violence, I was adamant that I would not grow up to be an abuser, as well. I know the dangers of striking a child to discipline them and then explaining that you’re doing it for their own good and because you love them. All that does is teach the child that violence is an acceptable part of love, and as they grow up, they accept violence in their adult relationships because they’ve been taught that it’s completely normal.”

Joseph believes that discipline is important, but that it can be delivered without making violence an acceptable part of life.

“No matter how out of control a child may be considered, a beating is never an effective way to get their attention, obedience or respect,” she added. “Parents must understand that there are other disciplinary measures, less violent and degrading methods that will garner the results they seek, while raising children to become emotional health and fulfilled adults.”

Joseph offered a few simple tips for alternative means of helping children behave. They include:

• Be a Good Example – Parents must live by example, allowing their actions and not just their words to exemplify the kind of person they would like their child to become.

• Be One Step Ahead – Don’t wait until your child has done something “wrong” to have a talk with them. Parents can circumvent many foreseeable challenges by addressing them before they become an issue.

• Be Creative – One type of punishment does not work for every child. Parents must figure out and utilize a form of reprimand that would work best for their child’s particular temperament.

“Every spanking, no matter how mild, has an impact,” Joseph said. “Parents should be aware that a spanked child becomes a emotionally crippled adult who goes out into the world and plays this handicap onto others, perpetuating the idea that abusive relationships are just a normal part of life. Now, I understand that people justify it by thinking, ‘I was spanked as a child and I turned out okay,’ but that equation doesn’t work for everyone. When we begin to justify violence as a part of our children’s lives, it becomes a slippery slope when we try to determine how much is too much? A spanking every once in a while? Using a belt or a hairbrush instead of a hand if a child is really misbehaving? At what point do you say it’s too much? The bottom line is that once is too much, because it makes a second, third and 20^thtime that much easier to rationalize. But for those who have been abused, no matter their pasts, it does not define them nor does it determine their future. Everyone can break the bonds of their past experiences and find their way to the life and future they crave.”

About Esther Joseph

Esther Joseph was born and raised on the tiny Caribbean island of Saint Lucia. She moved to the U.S. at the age of 16 with her mother and two older bothers. She holds a Master’s Degree in international affairs from New York University. Her goal is to help others still in the grips of abuse and violence to break the cycle and find a way to a place of healing.

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.” This saying may seem obvious, although today’s youth seem to think the opposite. Who can blame them though – unlike the baby boomers the new generation of youth have grown up in a time of economic prosperity and are used to being coddled by their parents. In 2011 alone, over 85 percent of college graduates will be moving back home (Huffington Post).

Recently, the recent economic situation has shown us that anything can happen at any given moment and we (and our children) need to be prepared. Though it may not be possible to teach a pre-schooler the complexities behind 401Ks and credit cards, it is possible to start teaching children the importance of money at an early age. Chicago Healers Practitioner Julie Murphy Casserly (CLU, ChFC, CFP) stresses the importance of instilling good money habits in children as early as possible and offers easy conversation topics to address the issue at every age.

· Pre-School
Yes, money patterns begin to formulate during the pre-school years. You can start talking to your child about money when they are 2 or 3 by explaining that everything costs money – from the food they eat, the clothes they wear, to the house they live in. These talks need to go beyond the necessities too. Explain that new toys, accessories or video games are things your family can live without. Introduce new toys to them a few at a time, rather than showering them with an over-abundance of playthings. This will help them get used to the fact that they don’t need a heap of toys to be happy.

· School-Aged
By the time your child is 6 or 7 years old you can start teaching them about prioritizing their money. For example, when you are at the toy store, instead of letting them pick anything off the shelf, try giving your child five dollars and letting them choose something that fits within this price tag. For parents who buy their children anything and everything, the child will expect this treatment later on in life, giving them a sense of entitlement. Ask yourself, is this the reality I want for my child 15 years from now?

This is also the point in time to show your child that money is the result of hard work. Work out a plan with a family friend or neighbor where your child will do housework or yard work for $5-$10 cash. Then give them the power to choose how they want to spend or save their hard-earned money.

· High School
At this time, it is critical to create a financial collaboration with your son or daughter. Encourage them to get a part-time job to help pay for their car insurance, their gas or portions of the monthly car payment. Children should be held accountable for sharing some of these costs with their parents. Once they get that paycheck, establish guidelines on how it should be dispersed — 1/3 goes towards that car payment, 1/3 goes towards their future college fund and 1/3 can be spent on whatever they choose.

During this age, it’s also important to highlight the importance of living a quality of life, rather than the quality of things that you own. Help your children understand that material things like a brand new car when they turn 16, are often a source of immediate happiness, but sooner or later, this happiness fades and they will be left searching for deeper self-fulfillment.

· College
Your child is an adult now. Have an adult conversation with them about their finances and make sure they understand how credit works. Tell them about your experiences with credit card use – the good, bad and the ugly. Once kids are on their own, temptations will always arise and children in this age bracket will more than likely consider opening a credit card to fund some of these temptations. Explain how credit cards can bring a false sense of financial reality. They make us less conscious of where our money is flowing and how much we are spending. Talk about how the constant struggle to earn cash to pay off debt can take a physical and emotional toll.

The vase.....

So, it’s been a while. You know that a lull in my writing can only mean one thing---it has to be really bad for me not to blog about it. I’m willing to share just about anything. I think people learn from it and I feel better. Some people admire it….some people condemn it. But, the older I get, the more I care about the rats ass than what people think. Even so, there are specifics that I won’t divulge publicly, but I will use the best story combined with an analogy I can to get my point across.

Imagine a beautiful room, with a beautiful vase sitting on a gorgeous, well crafted table. The first morning you wake up to this scene, you soak it up. You admire the craftsmanship of the table. You admire the strength, sturdiness and beauty of it. You notice there are a few rocks of different shapes and sizes---all exquisite---in the vase. You note each design and the beauty within each one. You are oblivious to all that is around. You just focus on the vase and the table.

Every morning, you check the vase, pleasantly surprised to see a few more beautiful rocks. Day after day, year after year--- just as expected---rocks fill the vase.

As time goes on, the rocks have blended together and they seem less vibrant. The table seems to be worn. Some days, you don’t even notice the rocks. You have other things that need tending. Eventually, you spend your days tending to everything BUT the vase and table. But, people come over and admire your room---your table, your vase and how full it is. You just know it’s there every day. You don’t appreciate it’s beauty like you once did.

You’re too busy too notice that less and less rocks are being put into the vase. You’re too tired to notice that the table is cracking. Until one day, you wake up and the vase is sitting on the floor, empty. The vase has been full for 15 years, sitting on that magnificent table just as long. You feel a void that you never thought you would have. You just expected the vase and table would always be there…..

Let me tie this all together for you.

The room is your life.
The vase is your heart.
The table is your spouse.
The rocks are all the important moments---the ones we often deem insignificant in the middle of it all, but end up being the most significant in the grand scheme of things:
A kiss when you wake up.
A jacket when you are cold.
A foot rub when your feet hurt.
A holding of your hand when you sit in the emergency room.
Recording Saturday Night Live for you because your favorite actor is hosting and you fell asleep.
A cold washcloth when you have a fever.
An “I love you” just because…and mean it.

And the rocks stop filling the vase when you become to busy to be bothered. Too busy with laundry, facebook, dinner with the girls, scrapbooking, dishes, cooking, watching American Idol, mopping or cleaning baseboards to notice the rocks.

Don’t expect that your spouse will always be there because they always have been. Don’t expect that they will tolerate what you’ve always done because they never say anything about it. Know what matters and treasure it. We tend to forget that just because it always has been, doesn’t mean it always will be. Don’t let your spouse feel like you don’t care about them. Don’t allow your spouse to carry the weight of your heart on their shoulders.


Don’t just expect that the table will always hold the vase. Don’t expect that the vase will always be full. Repairing the table and refilling the vase is not impossible, but it is a long and winding road. Don’t wait for your vase to be empty and the table to be broken---or gone---to realize how much you adored it. But in reality, sometimes you have to be without the table to realize the importance it has and what it provided.

Take care of your room, your vase, your table---and appreciate every rock inside the vase. Even the small, dull, ugly ones. They just remind you how special the other rocks are.

Learning to take care of my table, appreciate every rock and rebuild my room……


That's just how I see it. But maybe it's my misperception.

Diapers, Formula & Terrible Twos

I remember being pregnant with my first born in 1995. I was a naïve, know it all 18 year old with the personality of chicken little. If anyone said anything to me, not only must it be true---it could’ve been the end of the world as I knew it. There were several things I kept hearing repetitively.

1. The cost of diapers & formula was going to deplete my savings. (At 18, I think I had a whopping $2.38 in there anyway.)
2. Selecting which diapers and formula to use was going make me insane.
3. The terrible twos would ultimately be the death of me.

How could all of these seemingly pleasant women be so jaded by motherhood? What happened to them to make them not appreciate their rambunctious, disagreeable, perpetually crying children? (That’s how I saw them at 18. Remember before you had kids? Your kids were not going to do ANY of that stuff?) Fast forward 15 years later. I think I have come to the conclusion that those women didn’t have teenagers. They must have been directly in the middle of the toddler whirlwind and had not a clue of what was to come.

I have 3 kids. B is in High School, K is in Middle and Zippy is in Elementary. Talk about perspective. I remember thinking that removing an entire tube of Desitin from the carpet was the most difficult thing I’d ever have to do. Now, I have B asking if he can ride in a car with a 16 year old. (I’m grateful that he understands when I tell him “No”, but I’m aware that a “Yes” is not too far in the future.) He tells me how many times he has been offered drugs and that he has declined every time. (I am also grateful that he willingly agrees to be randomly drug tested. Not that it matters. I would do it anyway.) My middle school child, K, shares a plethora of information about the activities of kids her age. (It’s hard to hear some of it, but I would rather be in the know. I don’t want to be the parent that’s in a bubble thinking their kid would never do such a thing.) The closer it gets to the weekend, the more they love me. I get the hugs, compliments and last minute attempts at chores so they can withdraw money from the mother of all ATM’s. They turn the charm on pretty heavy. "Mom, what did you do to your hair to make it look sooooooo amazing?" "Have you lost more weight since last weigh in? You are looking skin-nay!" Sadly, it works. Football games, skating, clothes, money for food, money to shop. If you survived the cost of diapers, the field trips alone will give you a heart attack. It used to be a $12 afternoon trip to an IMAX 3D movie. Now it’s $70 for a full day of Epcot or Sea World. (And that doesn’t include a $20 light saber that they can taunt their younger sibling with and constantly remind them that their field trips are lame.)

I had friends, family and complete strangers sharing garbage bags full of baby & toddler clothes, leftover diapers that were too small and toys that were no longer played with. No one is sending me bags full of Abercrombie Jeans, Hollister shirts and a deposit on a $400 class ring. (Some of you will interpret that as my expectation. Not so. It’s just a comparison of the different times in life.)

Don’t mistake this for complaining. This is more of a realization. It's also to share information with people that are just starting out. (I don't know if they'll listen. I'm not sure I would have listened. But at least you can't say that no one ever told you.) There are many good things that come out of having a teenager. In fact, I prefer this part of motherhood more than I did the younger years. (And it wasn’t because of diapers and formula. The Desitin incident---maybe.) These are the years where I feel our relationship is more of a choice on their part. And to have them still wanting to associate with me is a tremendous win. I can instantly see whether or not everything we tried to instill in them actually sank in. I am watching these former little people grow into early adults. Like it or not, once they hit High School, your job is almost done. Sure, you still need to supervise and keep things in line. But, this is the time that they start putting what you taught them into practice. This is the time you start doing more listening than talking. You also start perfecting your skills as a private detective.

Regardless of what age your kids are, enjoy it. It sounds cliché, but it’s true. Each phase brings new problems. Don’t stress about the house being dirty. Don’t fret over the stain on the new outfit. Let the toy stay buried at the bottom of the toy box even though it has a perfect spot on the shelf. This is the time to be building that foundation and giving your kids what they need to thrive and succeed later---when they won’t listen to you. But, if you’ve done your job, they’ll still hear you. You'll be that voice talking to them.

Whether you are in the diapers & formula phase, or the drivers license & dating phase, you’ll get through it. It's not easy. You only get one chance though. And it truly is as much of a learning experience for you as it is for them.

That's just how I see it. But maybe it's my misperception.

Why Does She Work Out? She's skinny!

I know you don't get the title. But I know it sucked you in! And you'll learn how I work--I will tie it in by the end!

I ran into someone recently. I had not physically seen this person in a long time. We are "friends" on Facebook. We chatted a little and when I asked how she was doing, she said "Not as good as you, but I am holding my own." Whoah! Beep! Beep! Beep! Back up! I asked her "Why on earth would you say THAT?" She proceeded to tell me how it appears as if my life is all together. Her tone was as if she were standing outside my porch and looking into this whirlwind tunnel of bliss that is feeding me happiness through an IV. Beep! Beep! Beep! Let's back up again. Back up to earlier this morning when I was fumbling through several pairs of shorts on the floor, trying to find the least dirty ones because I have been too busy to do laundry. I put my hair up in a pony tail (because I have to...you know...that too many days without washing thing again) and start to think. Slowly, those negative things start lining up, single file, beginning to march in like a row of ants.

The screen on the porch is ripped again from Baby (my Jack Russell Terrier) trying to eat a cat that intentionally inflicts pain on my dogs by sunbathing on the swing set directly outside the patio.

The roof has a slight, but existent leak.

My car is now a 1999 Ford Conversion van that I LUH-VED when I got it because I was only 23 and I thought it was cool. Now, being 34, I feel too close to the time in my life when I should be driving a vehicle like that and I'm not that fond of it.

The insurance company sent a letter telling us basically to remove ALL branches from over our house or we will be cancelled. If you have been to my house, you know this means that essentially the whole tree must be cut down. I love this tree! I dread pollen season because the algae decides to take residence of my entire driveway and walkway. This leads to me almost busting my arse on a regular basis. However, it's a small price to pay for having a ridiculously low electric bill.

I started to think about how I painted the kitchen a gorgeous yellow, with a faux finish like Olive Garden. Sounds great, right? Well, we started remodeling 2 (That's TWO) years ago. I got tired of it looking like that...got tired of wishing Ty Pennington was going to come here and do...............the kitchen. I was ONLY going to say the KITCHEN! Focus, people, focus! Well, I painted over the drywall mud. Yep. One wall looks like a Mexican cantina with plaster & paint. But you know what? It looks better than it did and I actually have considered slathering some plaster on the other walls and painting it. I kinda like it!

Anyway, these thoughts started to come faster and faster and began to multiply. I had to shut it off. It's a choice, and it is a gift to be able to do so. I know this.

Fast forward to this woman telling me all of this. I started to consider that maybe I post too much happy. Too much positive. Too much kumbaya. I didn't specifically combat anything she said to me. I just told her things are never as they appear. (If I had a nickel for every time I said that, I could buy Donald Trump.) But, when I left her, I really started to concentrate on my impact on other people. I decided I wanted to clarify something. I thought of an analogy. You'll also learn how much I love a good analogy, people! :)

Do you ever see someone in really good shape exercising? Someone with a great body running or working out? Are you guilty of saying "Why does SHE work out? She looks great?!!" Have you ever stopped to think that it is BECAUSE she works out that she is skinny? I used to sit on the couch, with my bucket o' ice cream and a spoon and say those things about people working out. THAT'S how it works. Those that NEED to lose weight, can't get to where we need to be. We just envy those that do and wonder why they work so hard at it! It's work! It's effort! It's a choice! Those that read my positive message and happy blurbs might think "What is there to be so happy about?" or "I want to have what she has.....she seems so happy." I think everyone should know that my positive energy and my happy thoughts are MY WORKOUT. If I didn't do that, I would sulk in misery. I would be reminded of the roof, the car, the screen porch......my dirty laundry piling up. (Ok, maybe I NEED a reminder for that!) There will always be a to-do or a to-fix list. Being bummed out won't change that. There really is more to be happy about than there is to be sad about. The problem is it is easier to dwell on the sad things. And they cause more trouble. It's a cycle. You just have to drown them with happiness. My thoughts are work. They are effort. It's my choice. What's yours?

That's just how I see it. But maybe it's my misperception.