The vase.....

So, it’s been a while. You know that a lull in my writing can only mean one thing---it has to be really bad for me not to blog about it. I’m willing to share just about anything. I think people learn from it and I feel better. Some people admire it….some people condemn it. But, the older I get, the more I care about the rats ass than what people think. Even so, there are specifics that I won’t divulge publicly, but I will use the best story combined with an analogy I can to get my point across.

Imagine a beautiful room, with a beautiful vase sitting on a gorgeous, well crafted table. The first morning you wake up to this scene, you soak it up. You admire the craftsmanship of the table. You admire the strength, sturdiness and beauty of it. You notice there are a few rocks of different shapes and sizes---all exquisite---in the vase. You note each design and the beauty within each one. You are oblivious to all that is around. You just focus on the vase and the table.

Every morning, you check the vase, pleasantly surprised to see a few more beautiful rocks. Day after day, year after year--- just as expected---rocks fill the vase.

As time goes on, the rocks have blended together and they seem less vibrant. The table seems to be worn. Some days, you don’t even notice the rocks. You have other things that need tending. Eventually, you spend your days tending to everything BUT the vase and table. But, people come over and admire your room---your table, your vase and how full it is. You just know it’s there every day. You don’t appreciate it’s beauty like you once did.

You’re too busy too notice that less and less rocks are being put into the vase. You’re too tired to notice that the table is cracking. Until one day, you wake up and the vase is sitting on the floor, empty. The vase has been full for 15 years, sitting on that magnificent table just as long. You feel a void that you never thought you would have. You just expected the vase and table would always be there…..

Let me tie this all together for you.

The room is your life.
The vase is your heart.
The table is your spouse.
The rocks are all the important moments---the ones we often deem insignificant in the middle of it all, but end up being the most significant in the grand scheme of things:
A kiss when you wake up.
A jacket when you are cold.
A foot rub when your feet hurt.
A holding of your hand when you sit in the emergency room.
Recording Saturday Night Live for you because your favorite actor is hosting and you fell asleep.
A cold washcloth when you have a fever.
An “I love you” just because…and mean it.

And the rocks stop filling the vase when you become to busy to be bothered. Too busy with laundry, facebook, dinner with the girls, scrapbooking, dishes, cooking, watching American Idol, mopping or cleaning baseboards to notice the rocks.

Don’t expect that your spouse will always be there because they always have been. Don’t expect that they will tolerate what you’ve always done because they never say anything about it. Know what matters and treasure it. We tend to forget that just because it always has been, doesn’t mean it always will be. Don’t let your spouse feel like you don’t care about them. Don’t allow your spouse to carry the weight of your heart on their shoulders.


Don’t just expect that the table will always hold the vase. Don’t expect that the vase will always be full. Repairing the table and refilling the vase is not impossible, but it is a long and winding road. Don’t wait for your vase to be empty and the table to be broken---or gone---to realize how much you adored it. But in reality, sometimes you have to be without the table to realize the importance it has and what it provided.

Take care of your room, your vase, your table---and appreciate every rock inside the vase. Even the small, dull, ugly ones. They just remind you how special the other rocks are.

Learning to take care of my table, appreciate every rock and rebuild my room……


That's just how I see it. But maybe it's my misperception.