Mine for Nine Maternity Clothing

I am on my third pregnancy in 5 years. For my first pregnancy, I refused to buy many clothes and instead borrowed from friends and family. The result was not pretty. I wore clothes years out of date that didn’t fit correctly. For my second pregnancy, I decided to purchase clothes on the cheap from Target and other big box stores. The result was better, but I didn’t find many clothes that I could wear out on date night or with my friends at a price that I was willing to pay for only a few months of wear. Which brings us to pregnancy number 3. Since this is my last pregnancy, at least the last planned one, I wanted to go out with a bang, but who has the money to spend on clothing that a couple of months from now will be passed on to another pregnant woman?
In stepped Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine and Mine For Nine with a unique opportunity. I was given $200 to try out a company that allows you to borrow designer maternity clothes at a fraction of the cost of purchasing them. Instead of wearing jeans and a maternity top every day, I borrowed cute tops and skirts to boost my self esteem at a time when I don’t look my best. I am not one of those beautiful pregnant women out there. I get big everywhere! Fortunately, I discovered styles from Mine for Nine that helped minimize the negatives of my growing body and maximize the positives. Every month I have the option of shipping back the items I have or borrowing them for another month. I found a skirt that I have kept for three months, which is still much less expensive than purchasing it.
The process is very simple and if you have any problems Mine for Nine has phenomenal customer service. The two times that I contacted customer service for help I received a phone call within an hour from the owner/creator of the site, Marisa. The first step is to visit the site http://minefornine.com and pick out the items you would like to borrow. You may also buy items, but they are pretty pricey, so I stuck with the borrowing option. You pick the size that you think would fit you the best based on the sizing suggestions. While pregnant I am pretty hard on clothing, because all food seems to fall on my enormous belly, so for people like me there is optional cleaning insurance for $5 per item. If you are a reasonably neat person, there is no need to purchase insurance and you just have to ship the clothing back without any obvious stains. Mine for Nine will dry clean the clothing for the next borrower. The second step is to put in your credit card information and then the package with your clothing should arrive within the week. Also, there is a special gift for each mom included with her first order. The hand knitted blue cap that I received is precious and endeared me even more to the company.
When your clothing arrives, if it doesn’t fit correctly you can return it as long as you make sure to keep the security tag attached, contact the company within 3 days and put the clothing in the mail within 7 days. I didn’t have to return any of the items because they didn’t fit, but it was very reassuring to have the option. If you love the clothing you just need to take good care of it and ship it back by the date you are given using the label included in the package. I wrote the date the clothing needed to be postmarked by on my calendar, but most people would appreciate an email reminder, which is not provided.
If you want to get through nine months of pregnancy without committing to a size for the entire time, spend a fortune on clothing or get bored with wearing the same clothing day in and day out Mine for Nine is the company for you!

Can You Treat Depression Without Prescription Drugs?

Doctor Reveals How to Manage Depression Without Resorting To Anti-Depressants

In the past, people suffering from depression were often given two choices – medicate it or deal with it. One expert, however, believes there is a third option.

“Those suffering with depression were considered to be self-indulgent and self-obsessed,” said Dr.Gregory Jantz, a licensed mental health counselor and author of Living Beyond Depression (www.drgregoryjantz.com). “Their dark moods were responded to with little patience or understanding. People with depression were often counseled to just ‘cheer up!’ When the ‘get-over-it’ method didn’t seem to work, increasing numbers of sufferers turned to medication. The use of Prozac and other anti-depressant medication has recently skyrocketed. But there is another way, and it doesn’t involve prescription medication, or any of the other age-old ‘remedies,’ such as alcoholism, drug abuse, promiscuity, eating disorders, self-mutilation, and other compulsive behaviors. It is also far more enlightened than just telling yourself to get over it. It involves objectively examining your life, and rebuilding it little by little until you are reintegrated as a whole person.”

Jantz’s method does not revolve around just going to see a therapist and talking about your problems. It’s about getting to the root of the disease of depression and fighting it with the same emotions that fuel it. He calls it the Whole-Person Approach, and it incorporates getting a handle on the following concepts that make up the key elements of our lives:

• Emotional Influences – We are emotional beings, and we choose to acknowledge or express those emotions in outward forms. We are never far from our feelings and emotions. They trip us up when we are stressed or tired. They sneak up on us at unexpected moments. They support our expectations, fuel our disappointments, and energize our victories. When depression settles into a person’s life, emotions become confused. Minor daily irritants can become major life hurdles. The joy of others can become a gloomy reminder of inner insecurities. Even if life appears to be going well, our emotional balance can become tilted toward depression.

• Environmental Influences – We live in a world where complexity greets us every morning. What are we going to wear? What are we going to eat? How are we going to arrive at work? Which task are we going to complete? What call are we going to deal with first? Should we answer our cell phone, our home phone, respond to our email, reply to our voice mail—and in what order? From the moment we awake, the assault begins. We are overwhelmed. The assault demands a response, and retreating into depression can be that response.

• Relational Influences – We constantly use relationships to determine our position in life. We observe the world and people around us and make decisions about who we are based on how we believe others perceive us. We define our position by the people with whom we interact. We use this information to triangulate our state of well being, factoring in what we’ve learned or observed in the past, a view of our present circumstances, and the potential outcome for our future.

• Physical Influences – In the past, the answer to a broken-down spirit was a pharmaceutical “fix” that relaxed the physical body. But as we learn more and more about the inter-working of mind, body, and spirit, we are learning that the potential exists for our bodies to act as partner in recovery instead of an opponent.

• Spiritual Influences – Wrestling with questions of worth and purpose are spiritual issues. Who am I? What is my purpose? Where is joy? When will this be over? Why is this happening? How did I get this way? The spiritual component of a person’s life can provide direction toward both the right questions and the needed answers.

Why Shouldn’t I Spank My Child?

Abuse Survivor Offers Tips For Alternative Punishments

Esther Joseph doesn’t need to read studies or statistics to understand the problems of child abuse. She survived it.

Joseph, an advocate against corporal punishment in the home, spent her childhood alternately suffering physical abuse from her mother and emotional abuse from her father. But she doesn’t consider herself a victim.

“I’m a survivor of child abuse,” said Joseph, author of Memories of Hell, Visions of Heaven—A Story of Survival Transformation and Hope(www.unityinherited.com). “In overcoming the damage of an upbringing riddled with violence, I was adamant that I would not grow up to be an abuser, as well. I know the dangers of striking a child to discipline them and then explaining that you’re doing it for their own good and because you love them. All that does is teach the child that violence is an acceptable part of love, and as they grow up, they accept violence in their adult relationships because they’ve been taught that it’s completely normal.”

Joseph believes that discipline is important, but that it can be delivered without making violence an acceptable part of life.

“No matter how out of control a child may be considered, a beating is never an effective way to get their attention, obedience or respect,” she added. “Parents must understand that there are other disciplinary measures, less violent and degrading methods that will garner the results they seek, while raising children to become emotional health and fulfilled adults.”

Joseph offered a few simple tips for alternative means of helping children behave. They include:

• Be a Good Example – Parents must live by example, allowing their actions and not just their words to exemplify the kind of person they would like their child to become.

• Be One Step Ahead – Don’t wait until your child has done something “wrong” to have a talk with them. Parents can circumvent many foreseeable challenges by addressing them before they become an issue.

• Be Creative – One type of punishment does not work for every child. Parents must figure out and utilize a form of reprimand that would work best for their child’s particular temperament.

“Every spanking, no matter how mild, has an impact,” Joseph said. “Parents should be aware that a spanked child becomes a emotionally crippled adult who goes out into the world and plays this handicap onto others, perpetuating the idea that abusive relationships are just a normal part of life. Now, I understand that people justify it by thinking, ‘I was spanked as a child and I turned out okay,’ but that equation doesn’t work for everyone. When we begin to justify violence as a part of our children’s lives, it becomes a slippery slope when we try to determine how much is too much? A spanking every once in a while? Using a belt or a hairbrush instead of a hand if a child is really misbehaving? At what point do you say it’s too much? The bottom line is that once is too much, because it makes a second, third and 20^thtime that much easier to rationalize. But for those who have been abused, no matter their pasts, it does not define them nor does it determine their future. Everyone can break the bonds of their past experiences and find their way to the life and future they crave.”

About Esther Joseph

Esther Joseph was born and raised on the tiny Caribbean island of Saint Lucia. She moved to the U.S. at the age of 16 with her mother and two older bothers. She holds a Master’s Degree in international affairs from New York University. Her goal is to help others still in the grips of abuse and violence to break the cycle and find a way to a place of healing.

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.” This saying may seem obvious, although today’s youth seem to think the opposite. Who can blame them though – unlike the baby boomers the new generation of youth have grown up in a time of economic prosperity and are used to being coddled by their parents. In 2011 alone, over 85 percent of college graduates will be moving back home (Huffington Post).

Recently, the recent economic situation has shown us that anything can happen at any given moment and we (and our children) need to be prepared. Though it may not be possible to teach a pre-schooler the complexities behind 401Ks and credit cards, it is possible to start teaching children the importance of money at an early age. Chicago Healers Practitioner Julie Murphy Casserly (CLU, ChFC, CFP) stresses the importance of instilling good money habits in children as early as possible and offers easy conversation topics to address the issue at every age.

· Pre-School
Yes, money patterns begin to formulate during the pre-school years. You can start talking to your child about money when they are 2 or 3 by explaining that everything costs money – from the food they eat, the clothes they wear, to the house they live in. These talks need to go beyond the necessities too. Explain that new toys, accessories or video games are things your family can live without. Introduce new toys to them a few at a time, rather than showering them with an over-abundance of playthings. This will help them get used to the fact that they don’t need a heap of toys to be happy.

· School-Aged
By the time your child is 6 or 7 years old you can start teaching them about prioritizing their money. For example, when you are at the toy store, instead of letting them pick anything off the shelf, try giving your child five dollars and letting them choose something that fits within this price tag. For parents who buy their children anything and everything, the child will expect this treatment later on in life, giving them a sense of entitlement. Ask yourself, is this the reality I want for my child 15 years from now?

This is also the point in time to show your child that money is the result of hard work. Work out a plan with a family friend or neighbor where your child will do housework or yard work for $5-$10 cash. Then give them the power to choose how they want to spend or save their hard-earned money.

· High School
At this time, it is critical to create a financial collaboration with your son or daughter. Encourage them to get a part-time job to help pay for their car insurance, their gas or portions of the monthly car payment. Children should be held accountable for sharing some of these costs with their parents. Once they get that paycheck, establish guidelines on how it should be dispersed — 1/3 goes towards that car payment, 1/3 goes towards their future college fund and 1/3 can be spent on whatever they choose.

During this age, it’s also important to highlight the importance of living a quality of life, rather than the quality of things that you own. Help your children understand that material things like a brand new car when they turn 16, are often a source of immediate happiness, but sooner or later, this happiness fades and they will be left searching for deeper self-fulfillment.

· College
Your child is an adult now. Have an adult conversation with them about their finances and make sure they understand how credit works. Tell them about your experiences with credit card use – the good, bad and the ugly. Once kids are on their own, temptations will always arise and children in this age bracket will more than likely consider opening a credit card to fund some of these temptations. Explain how credit cards can bring a false sense of financial reality. They make us less conscious of where our money is flowing and how much we are spending. Talk about how the constant struggle to earn cash to pay off debt can take a physical and emotional toll.

7 Days, 7 Ways to Get Set for the New School Year

Day 1 – Refresh the calendar
The school year is chock-full of calendar events: school functions, athletic events, classroom parties, library due dates, gym days, music lessons and parent-teacher conferences. Get a calendar to record everything so you aren’t tracking down flyers, paper schedules, emails and notes from school for your day-to-day planning. Cozi makes it easy with an online calendar that the whole family can access either online or via their mobile phone (iPhone, Android, BlackBerry) so families have their to-do lists at their fingertips no matter where they are. Even better, you can sync your Cozi calendar with school district event calendars and your home calendars.Cozi lets you send reminders and agendas to keep everyone on the same page.

Day 2 – Inventory the kids’ closets
You don’t have to go on a huge shopping spree, but make sure each child has enough clothes for the first few weeks of school. Go through the kids’ closets, dressers and storage bins of clothes. Then make it fun by having a “fashion show” to find out which clothes fit which kids and who needs to buy what. This saves money and time since you aren’t heading out to buy new outfits for a child who can now wear an older sibling’s jeans that are still in good condition.

Day 3 – Create a morning checklist for the kids
Ever get frustrated that you have to remind the kids of seemingly basic tasks (brush your teeth, get dressed, get your backpack together) every single morning? Thought so! Put it all on a list and hand it over to the kids to use each morning. You can stop nagging because the responsibility of completing the list becomes the child’s. Just don't allow play time or TV time until the tasks are done. (Here's our morning checklist on Cozi: http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/school-morning-checklist)

Day 4 – Set up the time-to-go area
This is for backpacks, homework projects, shoes, coats, lunch sacks and anything else besides the clothes on their back needed to get out the door. Have the kids ALWAYS store these items in the time-to-go area and make sure it’s all there before they go to bed. It might take some time to get everyone in the habit, but getting out the door without a last-minute scramble for the hat your son can't leave without is well worth it.

Day 5 – Set up the homework routine
Will there be a dedicated homework area? When will homework get done – right after school, anytime before bed or in the morning before school for early birds? Letting the kids know what you expect for where, when and how homework gets done means fewer daily struggles over the task.

Day 6 – Make a list of favorite family meals
With summer’s end comes more structure to the evening schedule. One of the best things you can do to make the daily dinner decision easier is to keep a list of go-to meals that are easy to make and the whole family loves. Go a step further and plan out two weeks of family dinners so you don’t have to decide each day what’s for dinner during those busy first weeks of school. And you’ll end up with a treasure chest of ideas for the future when 5 o’clock rolls around and you haven’t a clue what to make.


Day 7 – Decide what you’ll do with schoolwork and art
Otherwise, you might end up with huge bins of papers and art projects that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw out the day they came home. Some ideas: keep one piece of art or school item for each child each week, use one container for the year and limit what you save to what fits in the container, display new art as it comes home in easy-to-use frames or with clips.

Mealtime with Toddlers

Mealtime is a common source of stress for parents as toddlers can be quite fussy—and messy—eaters, but mealtime is the perfect opportunity to teach young children two major personal and social skills: nutrition and table manners.

Mealtime, the latest board book in the Toddler Tools® series by Elizabeth Verdick, offers simple suggestions to engage little ones in a happy, healthy time at the table. Here are eight tips for parents and caregivers to set the stage to guide toddlers toward healthy eating and positive mealtime routines—and to make time shared around the table pleasant for all:

• Know your goals. Mealtime is an opportunity to teach young children two major life skills: nutrition and table manners. Both skills take time and practice. The table is a busy place, and it’s not always possible to focus on both skill sets at once. It’s more important for your child to grow and be healthy—so put the greater emphasis on eating nutritious foods. Keep the message simple and repeat it often: “We eat our fruits and veggies to grow up strong and healthy.”

• Set some rules. When your child is young, teach the “Always try one bite” rule. Encourage your child to take at least one bite of an unfamiliar or unwanted food, and then leave it at that. If your child doesn’t like the food, don’t force the issue. And don’t give up either—the very next time you get your child to try a bite of that same food, he might like it!

• Have reasonable expectations. Long family dinners with great food and conversation can be wonderful—but not always achievable. Making meals simple, kid-friendly, and healthy is plenty. As your child grows, mealtime will become a bit more manageable. Accept that, for now, chaos comes with the territory.

• Get your child involved in meal prep. Toddlers are naturally curious and full of energy. As you make a meal, let your child help with simple tasks—tearing lettuce for the salad or putting a spoon by each plate. Then make a big deal about how your child helped cook and set the table.

• Practice praising your child. Did she taste a new food? Or remember to use a napkin? Or get through a whole meal without spilling her drink? Notice each small triumph and remember to say, “Good job.”

• Create rituals and routines. Have children wash their hands before coming to the table. You can also use mealtime to teach simple manners like “Please,” “Thank you,” and “May I be excused?” Depending on what works for you, you might signal that mealtime is a special time by lighting a candle, saying grace, or briefly holding hands at the table. You might even encourage your child to “Kiss the cook.”

• Give your child some undivided attention. One way to get toddlers to enjoy meals and sit still for an extended period of time is to give them your full attention. Ask them questions. Listen intently to their answers. When you make the table a nurturing place, your child will come to appreciate mealtime as a special time together.

• Keep it short. Toddlers tend to eat and run—literally. At this age, they’re wiggly and active and may not be able to sit at the table for long. Instead of making your child stay until everyone has finished, let him get up and play so the rest of you can linger. Just make sure he clears his plate first.

Tips from Mealtime by Elizabeth Verdick, illustrated by Marieka Heinlen, www.freespirit.com
www.tbparenting.com

Are they ready?